Over the past year, I took a TV writing course as a part of my MFA in Creative Writing through the University of British Columbia. During that course, we studied the art of writing teleplays, and during the course we produced a spec script, and an original pilot spec. A spec script is a TV writer's calling card, as it is what shows the agents and TV execs that you can actually write, and write well. A spec is a script is also based on an existing television show, and the reason for this is that if you can show that you have captured the tone and feel of a show that is not yours, then you can theoretically write for any show.
I don't believe I'll ever be a TV writer, as much as I'd like to be, because family commitments prevent me from trying to climb that ladder. But still, I found I enjoyed writing this form.
What follows is not fan fiction, I want to be clear about that, but is my own original spec script for the show Monk.
ACT FOUR
INT. POLICE STATION - EVENING
Natalie walks in. Randy is sleeping in a chair. Stottlemeyer is wide awake.
NATALIE
Did you get any sleep?
STOTTLEMEYER
Not a wink. What about you?
NATALIE
I tried. Maybe an hour or two. It's no use. I can't stop thinking about Mr. Monk.
Stottlemeyer points at Randy.
STOTTLEMEYER
Can't say the same for all of us
Randy snorts loudly. His arm flops over his face. He shifts in his chair. He is still asleep. Natalie sighs. A phone rings. Stottlemeyer races to answer it.
STOTTLEMEYER (CONT'D)
Any news?...You're kidding me...Good Lord.
Stottlemeyer hangs up the phone. He looks at Natalie.
STOTTLEMEYER (CONT'D)
They've found someone matching Monk's description. Downtown.
NATALIE
Is he okay?
STOTTLEMEYER
No, Natalie. I'm afraid not. He's dead.
Natalie gasps. She Holds her hand up to her mouth. Randy wakes up.
RANDY
Is he here! Did we find him?
STOTTLEMEYER
Come on, Randy. Let's go.
EXT. SAN FRANCISCO - UNKNOWN STREET - DAY
Stottlemeyer, Randy, and Natalie arrive at a crime scene. A number of officers are walking around. There is a body lying in an alleyway. They can not see the face.
Stottlemeyer hails an officer.
STOTTLEMEYER
So what do we have?
OFFICER #1
Sir, a restaurant owner reported a man matching Monk's description wandering in this alley. They heard a fight of some sort, the assailant fled before they could get a look at him.
Stottlemeyer squats down over the body. It is dressed in Monk's clothes. Face down on the ground. From behind it looks like Monk. Natalie runs over, but Randy holds her back. Stottlemeyer moves the body to see the face.
STOTTLEMEYER
Ha!
Stottlemeyer laughs, smiles. Then regains his composure.
STOTTLEMEYER (CONT'D)
Sorry. I mean, this is terrible, but it's not Monk.
NATALIE
It's not?
Natalie smiles. Randy smiles.
RANDY
It's not?
STOTTLEMEYER
Is there an echo here? No, it's not. He's dressed in Monk's clothes, but it's not Monk!
Natalie looks like she has thought of something.
NATALIE
Then if those are Monk's clothes, where's Mr. Monk?
RANDY
I don't know. Maybe...
Stottlemeyer looks sharply at Randy.
STOTTLEMEYER
Randy, you said on the video that you saw Monk leave Sunnyland. Did you see his face?
RANDY
Did I see his face? Well, I saw...No, I guess I didn't see his face at all. Just the back of his head and his clothes.
NATALIE
Then that means?
STOTTLEMEYER
Monk's probably still there. He might still be alive. We have to hurry! Before it's too late.
INT. SUNNYLAND COMMON ROOM - DAY
Monk is be dragged away. Then the orderlies stop. Several patients have blocked the door.
PATIENT #1
Hey! Maybe you should let him keep talking.
PATIENT #2
Yeah! I want to hear more.
PATIENT #3
I was wondering why my gran wanted me in here so badly.
Doctor Randall glares at the three patients.
DOCTOR RANDALL
Step out of the way please. This man is seriously disturbed and we have to help him!
The patients cross their arms. Nurse Akiko walks into the room, putting on surgical gloves.
NURSE AKIKO
Is there a problem, doctor?
She finishes putting the gloves on, with a final flick for emphasis. She looks at each of the three rebellious patients. They seem to be afraid of her.
DOCTOR RANDALL
I don't know.
The Doctor looks at the three patients intently.
DOCTOR RANDALL (CONT'D)
Is there?
Patient #1's eyes shift from side to side. Then he steps away.
PATIENT #2
Problem? What problem?
PATIENT #3
Is that meatloaf I smell? I do love meatloaf.
PATIENT #1
Come to think of it, I'm getting hungry too.
Patient #3 rubs his belly and gives a big fake smile. The three patients start to walk away.
DOCTOR RANDALL
I thought so.
Monk looks at the three as they try to fade away.
MONK
You're selling me out for meatloaf?
Patient #3 shrugs his shoulders.
PATIENT #3
It's really good meatloaf.
The orderlies keep on dragging Monk away.
INT. SUNNYLAND PATIENT'S ROOM - MOMENTS LATER
Monk is thrown into a room by the orderlies. Nurse Akiko is standing behind them.
NURSE AKIKO
Watch him until I get back.
She leaves.
MONK
Hi...Hello.
The orderlies look blankly at Monk.
MONK (CONT'D)
I really need your help. We have to call the police.
No reaction.
MONK (CONT'D)
There was a murder here, and if you don't help me, there's probably going to be another one very soon.
One orderly raises his eyebrow.
ORDERLY
Is that a threat?
MONK
No! No! I meant me! They're going to murder me!
There is a commotion in the hallway. An alarm bell starts pulsing.
DOCTOR RANDALL (O.S.)
What! Who had access! You two!...Lock the door and get over here.
The two orderlies leave. One shuts the door and locks it as he goes.
MONK
Hey! Where are you going!
Monk bangs on the door, and looks out the small window slit. Nurse Akiko's face appears.
MONK (CONT'D)
Ah!
Monk jumps backward. The door lock rattles. A key goes in. The door opens. Nurse Akiko walks in menacingly. She has a needle in her hand. She holds it up. She closes the door, and the alarm sound fades.
NURSE AKIKO
Remember this? I believe you've been acquainted.
MONK
N...needle...You know, I am a police officer. A former police officer, and I can promise you, if you do this, it won't look very good.
NURSE AKIKO
You catch on quick.
MONK
Can you...do me a favor, first. Is that needle new? Can, can you maybe wipe it with alcohol or something? You, in case there's any germs?
Nurse Akiko pauses for a second.
NURSE AKIKO
What would it matter?
MONK
It's just...it never hurts to be clean.
Nurse Rashid appears at the door.
NURSE RASHID
Come on! We need your help! They've got the doctor!
NURSE AKIKO
Who? What are you talking about?
Nurse Akiko hisses in frustration.
NURSE AKIKO (CONT'D)
Show me!
She leaves, and locks the door.
MONK
Hello?
Monk goes op to the door. He presses his face against the glass. He tries to see down the hall. Isaac's face pops into view, filling the window.
ISAAC
Hey! Looks like you stirred up the pot in there!
MONK
Isaac! I need you to help me out. Open the door. She wants to kill me. That nurse wants to kill me.
ISAAC
Well, that's the thing. I kind of like it here. No rent, they cook my meals. And the cable package is great. Truth is, by this time next year, I'll have enough set aside to retire on.
MONK
You're in on it!
ISAAC
Same as half the people here. It's the perfect job for the slacker mentality.
Isaac turns his head. He looks surprised. He holds his hands up, and backs out of view. Monk presses his face up against the window, and can see Nurse Rashid pointing a gun at Isaac. Monk jumps back, away from the door.
NURSE RASHID (O.S.)
Get back!
There is the sound of keys in the lock. Monk looks around the room. He sees a pillow. He picks it up, holds it over his head, ready to clobber someone. The door opens and Nurse Rashid walks in, gun pointed into the hall.
Monk swings the pillow, and it glances off her head, enough to knock her off balance.
NURSE RASHID (CONT'D)
Hey! Stop that!
Isaac runs past the door, away.
NURSE RASHID (CONT'D)
What are you doing?
MONK
I thought you were trying to kill me.
The alarm stops pulsing.
NURSE RASHID
Kill you? Come with me! We don't have much time! They'll be back here any minute.
Monk follows Nurse Rashid out of the door and down the hallway.
MONK
Who are you?
NURSE RASHID
I work for the DEA. I was placed here undercover to get inside Randall's operation.
MONK
Undercover? Here?
Nurse Rashid turns to say something, but she is knocked to the ground. A bloodied Nurse Akiko stands over her, a knife in hand.
NURSE AKIKO
Where do you think you're going?
Nurse Akiko grabs at the gun in Nurse Rashid's hand. They struggle. A shot goes off. Monk dives to the floor. The bullet hits an oxygen tank down the hall, which explodes, setting the wall on fire! Nurse Akiko looks over. Nurse Rashid punches her in the jaw, knocking her down. Nurse Rashid grabs Monk's arm, drags him up and away. They run back the way they came, toward the common room.
MONK
How do we get out of here?
NURSE RASHID
We can't! That was the way out!
MONK
What?
NURSE RASHID
We have to get to the common room. We might be able to jump from there.
MONK
I'm sorry. I thought I heard you say we'd have to jump. But that's not what you said, was it?
NURSE RASHID
Yes! We'll have to jump!
MONK
The thing is, I can't jump! I have a fear of heights. It's a phobia!
NURSE RASHID
How about a worse phobia?
MONK
Like what?
NURSE RASHID
Fear of death! That's worse!
MONK
That's debatable!
NURSE RASHID
Are you kidding me?
MONK
No! I've been meaning to ask you! Is Rashid your real name? I thought that was a man's name.
Nurse Rashid smiles.
NURSE RASHID
No. My real name's Rashida. That's a girl's name.
EXT. SUNNYLAND RETREAT - MOMENTS LATER
A group of police cars come up the driveway, sirens blaring. Stottlemeyer, Randy, and Natalie jump out of the lead car and run toward the building. Natalie looks up.
NATALIE
Oh my god! Look!
They can see the fire on the third floor. A window shatters from the heat. To the right, a much larger window shatters, but there are no flames. Monk's face appears. A number of patients crowd around the opening.
NATALIE (CONT'D)
Mr. Monk! You're alive!
MONK
Not for long!
Stottlemeyer talks into his radio.
STOTTLEMEYER
Fire department's on their way. They'll be here in three minutes.
NATALIE
Mr. Monk. Three minutes! Hold on for three minutes!
INT. SUNNYLAND COMMON ROOM - CONTINUOUS
MONK
What?
Monk looks at a patient beside him.
MONK (CONT'D)
What did she say?
PATIENT #1
I think she said "Three hints." Maybe she wants you to make a guess?
MONK
Guess? Guess what?
Monk looks down at Natalie.
MONK (CONT'D)
What hints!
NATALIE
(Garbled)
...tree ...ants!
MONK
What?
Behind Monk there is a commotion. Nurse Rashid yanks down the blinds.
NURSE RASHID
Help me twist them. We can use this as a rope.
Several of the patients help her twist the long chain of vertical blinds. Then they lower part of it out of the window.
NURSE RASHID (CONT'D)
(To Monk)
Climb down!
MONK
Climb down? This?
Monk steps back. Several patients push past him and start climbing down. When the last one has gone, Monk still won't go!
MONK (CONT'D)
I can't. Isn't there another way?
Nurse Rashid looks past Monk for a moment.
NURSE RASHID
Yes. Close your eyes.
MONK
Why?
NURSE RASHID
Just do it!
Monk closes his eyes. Nurse Rashid pushes him. He falls out the window...and into Stottlemeyer, Natalie, and a fire fighter who are standing on an articulated boom, with the letters S.F.F.D. on the side.
EXT. SUNNYLAND RETREAT - MOMENTS LATER
Now on the ground, Natalie hugs Monk, who stiffens up, and pats her awkwardly on the back. Stottlemeyer calls out to his officers.
STOTTLEMEYER
Don't let anyone leave.
Then a fire exit on the ground floor opens, a few meters away from Stottlemeyer. Doctor Randall staggers out, with Nurse Akiko in his arms. The police draw their weapons.
STOTTLEMEYER (CONT'D)
Now hold it right there, Doctor. You're not going anywhere.
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