Mr. Monk and the Rubber Room - Tag

Over the past year, I took a TV writing course as a part of my MFA in Creative Writing through the University of British Columbia. During that course, we studied the art of writing teleplays, and during the course we produced a spec script, and an original pilot spec. A spec script is a TV writer's calling card, as it is what shows the agents and TV execs that you can actually write, and write well. A spec is a script is also based on an existing television show, and the reason for this is that if you can show that you have captured the tone and feel of a show that is not yours, then you can theoretically write for any show.

I don't believe I'll ever be a TV writer, as much as I'd like to be, because family commitments prevent me from trying to climb that ladder. But still, I found I enjoyed writing this form.

What follows is not fan fiction, I want to be clear about that, but is my own original spec script for the show Monk.

TAG

INT. MONK'S APARTMENT - DAY

Monk is packing some of his Trudy memorabilia into a box. Natalie walks in.

NATALIE
What are you doing?

MONK
You were right. Maybe it's time to redecorate a little.

NATALIE
Really? Are you sure?

MONK
Yeah. It's been what, fifteen years? That's Julie's age.

NATALIE
She's eighteen, Mr. Monk.

MONK
Close enough.

He picks one last picture off the ledge, and hesitates for a moment. Natalie takes the picture from him and puts it back.

NATALIE
I think that's enough change for now.

Monk smiles, looking at Trudy's picture.

Mr. Monk and the Rubber Room - Act 4

Over the past year, I took a TV writing course as a part of my MFA in Creative Writing through the University of British Columbia. During that course, we studied the art of writing teleplays, and during the course we produced a spec script, and an original pilot spec. A spec script is a TV writer's calling card, as it is what shows the agents and TV execs that you can actually write, and write well. A spec is a script is also based on an existing television show, and the reason for this is that if you can show that you have captured the tone and feel of a show that is not yours, then you can theoretically write for any show.

I don't believe I'll ever be a TV writer, as much as I'd like to be, because family commitments prevent me from trying to climb that ladder. But still, I found I enjoyed writing this form.

What follows is not fan fiction, I want to be clear about that, but is my own original spec script for the show Monk.

ACT FOUR

INT. POLICE STATION - EVENING
Natalie walks in. Randy is sleeping in a chair. Stottlemeyer is wide awake.

NATALIE
Did you get any sleep?

STOTTLEMEYER
Not a wink. What about you?

NATALIE
I tried. Maybe an hour or two. It's no use. I can't stop thinking about Mr. Monk.

Stottlemeyer points at Randy.

STOTTLEMEYER
Can't say the same for all of us

Randy snorts loudly. His arm flops over his face. He shifts in his chair. He is still asleep. Natalie sighs. A phone rings. Stottlemeyer races to answer it.

STOTTLEMEYER (CONT'D)
Any news?...You're kidding me...Good Lord.

Stottlemeyer hangs up the phone. He looks at Natalie.

STOTTLEMEYER (CONT'D)
They've found someone matching Monk's description. Downtown.

NATALIE
Is he okay?

STOTTLEMEYER
No, Natalie. I'm afraid not. He's dead.

Natalie gasps. She Holds her hand up to her mouth. Randy wakes up.

RANDY
Is he here! Did we find him?

STOTTLEMEYER
Come on, Randy. Let's go.

EXT. SAN FRANCISCO - UNKNOWN STREET - DAY

Stottlemeyer, Randy, and Natalie arrive at a crime scene. A number of officers are walking around. There is a body lying in an alleyway. They can not see the face.

Stottlemeyer hails an officer.

STOTTLEMEYER
So what do we have?

OFFICER #1
Sir, a restaurant owner reported a man matching Monk's description wandering in this alley. They heard a fight of some sort, the assailant fled before they could get a look at him.

Stottlemeyer squats down over the body. It is dressed in Monk's clothes. Face down on the ground. From behind it looks like Monk. Natalie runs over, but Randy holds her back. Stottlemeyer moves the body to see the face.

STOTTLEMEYER
Ha!

Stottlemeyer laughs, smiles. Then regains his composure.

STOTTLEMEYER (CONT'D)
Sorry. I mean, this is terrible, but it's not Monk.

NATALIE
It's not?

Natalie smiles. Randy smiles.

RANDY
It's not?

STOTTLEMEYER
Is there an echo here? No, it's not. He's dressed in Monk's clothes, but it's not Monk!

Natalie looks like she has thought of something.

NATALIE
Then if those are Monk's clothes, where's Mr. Monk?

RANDY
I don't know. Maybe...

Stottlemeyer looks sharply at Randy.

STOTTLEMEYER
Randy, you said on the video that you saw Monk leave Sunnyland. Did you see his face?

RANDY
Did I see his face? Well, I saw...No, I guess I didn't see his face at all. Just the back of his head and his clothes.

NATALIE
Then that means?

STOTTLEMEYER
Monk's probably still there. He might still be alive. We have to hurry! Before it's too late.

INT. SUNNYLAND COMMON ROOM - DAY
Monk is be dragged away. Then the orderlies stop. Several patients have blocked the door.

PATIENT #1
Hey! Maybe you should let him keep talking.

PATIENT #2
Yeah! I want to hear more.

PATIENT #3
I was wondering why my gran wanted me in here so badly.

Doctor Randall glares at the three patients.

DOCTOR RANDALL
Step out of the way please. This man is seriously disturbed and we have to help him!
The patients cross their arms. Nurse Akiko walks into the room, putting on surgical gloves.

NURSE AKIKO
Is there a problem, doctor?

She finishes putting the gloves on, with a final flick for emphasis. She looks at each of the three rebellious patients. They seem to be afraid of her.

DOCTOR RANDALL
I don't know.

The Doctor looks at the three patients intently.

DOCTOR RANDALL (CONT'D)
Is there?

Patient #1's eyes shift from side to side. Then he steps away.

PATIENT #2
Problem? What problem?

PATIENT #3
Is that meatloaf I smell? I do love meatloaf.

PATIENT #1
Come to think of it, I'm getting hungry too.

Patient #3 rubs his belly and gives a big fake smile. The three patients start to walk away.

DOCTOR RANDALL
I thought so.

Monk looks at the three as they try to fade away.

MONK
You're selling me out for meatloaf?

Patient #3 shrugs his shoulders.

PATIENT #3
It's really good meatloaf.

The orderlies keep on dragging Monk away.

INT. SUNNYLAND PATIENT'S ROOM - MOMENTS LATER
Monk is thrown into a room by the orderlies. Nurse Akiko is standing behind them.

NURSE AKIKO
Watch him until I get back.

She leaves.

MONK
Hi...Hello.

The orderlies look blankly at Monk.

MONK (CONT'D)
I really need your help. We have to call the police.

No reaction.

MONK (CONT'D)
There was a murder here, and if you don't help me, there's probably going to be another one very soon.

One orderly raises his eyebrow.

ORDERLY
Is that a threat?

MONK
No! No! I meant me! They're going to murder me!

There is a commotion in the hallway. An alarm bell starts pulsing.

DOCTOR RANDALL (O.S.)
What! Who had access! You two!...Lock the door and get over here.

The two orderlies leave. One shuts the door and locks it as he goes.

MONK
Hey! Where are you going!

Monk bangs on the door, and looks out the small window slit. Nurse Akiko's face appears.

MONK (CONT'D)
Ah!

Monk jumps backward. The door lock rattles. A key goes in. The door opens. Nurse Akiko walks in menacingly. She has a needle in her hand. She holds it up. She closes the door, and the alarm sound fades.

NURSE AKIKO
Remember this? I believe you've been acquainted.

MONK
N...needle...You know, I am a police officer. A former police officer, and I can promise you, if you do this, it won't look very good.

NURSE AKIKO
You catch on quick.

MONK
Can you...do me a favor, first. Is that needle new? Can, can you maybe wipe it with alcohol or something? You, in case there's any germs?

Nurse Akiko pauses for a second.

NURSE AKIKO
What would it matter?

MONK
It's just...it never hurts to be clean.

Nurse Rashid appears at the door.

NURSE RASHID
Come on! We need your help! They've got the doctor!

NURSE AKIKO
Who? What are you talking about?

Nurse Akiko hisses in frustration.

NURSE AKIKO (CONT'D)
Show me!

She leaves, and locks the door.

MONK
Hello?

Monk goes op to the door. He presses his face against the glass. He tries to see down the hall. Isaac's face pops into view, filling the window.

ISAAC
Hey! Looks like you stirred up the pot in there!

MONK
Isaac! I need you to help me out. Open the door. She wants to kill me. That nurse wants to kill me.

ISAAC
Well, that's the thing. I kind of like it here. No rent, they cook my meals. And the cable package is great. Truth is, by this time next year, I'll have enough set aside to retire on.

MONK
You're in on it!

ISAAC
Same as half the people here. It's the perfect job for the slacker mentality.
Isaac turns his head. He looks surprised. He holds his hands up, and backs out of view. Monk presses his face up against the window, and can see Nurse Rashid pointing a gun at Isaac. Monk jumps back, away from the door.

NURSE RASHID (O.S.)
Get back!

There is the sound of keys in the lock. Monk looks around the room. He sees a pillow. He picks it up, holds it over his head, ready to clobber someone. The door opens and Nurse Rashid walks in, gun pointed into the hall.

Monk swings the pillow, and it glances off her head, enough to knock her off balance.

NURSE RASHID (CONT'D)
Hey! Stop that!

Isaac runs past the door, away.

NURSE RASHID (CONT'D)
What are you doing?

MONK
I thought you were trying to kill me.

The alarm stops pulsing.

NURSE RASHID
Kill you? Come with me! We don't have much time! They'll be back here any minute.
Monk follows Nurse Rashid out of the door and down the hallway.

MONK
Who are you?

NURSE RASHID
I work for the DEA. I was placed here undercover to get inside Randall's operation.

MONK
Undercover? Here?

Nurse Rashid turns to say something, but she is knocked to the ground. A bloodied Nurse Akiko stands over her, a knife in hand.

NURSE AKIKO
Where do you think you're going?

Nurse Akiko grabs at the gun in Nurse Rashid's hand. They struggle. A shot goes off. Monk dives to the floor. The bullet hits an oxygen tank down the hall, which explodes, setting the wall on fire! Nurse Akiko looks over. Nurse Rashid punches her in the jaw, knocking her down. Nurse Rashid grabs Monk's arm, drags him up and away. They run back the way they came, toward the common room.

MONK
How do we get out of here?

NURSE RASHID
We can't! That was the way out!

MONK
What?

NURSE RASHID
We have to get to the common room. We might be able to jump from there.

MONK
I'm sorry. I thought I heard you say we'd have to jump. But that's not what you said, was it?

NURSE RASHID
Yes! We'll have to jump!

MONK
The thing is, I can't jump! I have a fear of heights. It's a phobia!

NURSE RASHID
How about a worse phobia?

MONK
Like what?

NURSE RASHID
Fear of death! That's worse!

MONK
That's debatable!

NURSE RASHID
Are you kidding me?

MONK
No! I've been meaning to ask you! Is Rashid your real name? I thought that was a man's name.

Nurse Rashid smiles.

NURSE RASHID
No. My real name's Rashida. That's a girl's name.

EXT. SUNNYLAND RETREAT - MOMENTS LATER

A group of police cars come up the driveway, sirens blaring. Stottlemeyer, Randy, and Natalie jump out of the lead car and run toward the building. Natalie looks up.

NATALIE
Oh my god! Look!

They can see the fire on the third floor. A window shatters from the heat. To the right, a much larger window shatters, but there are no flames. Monk's face appears. A number of patients crowd around the opening.

NATALIE (CONT'D)
Mr. Monk! You're alive!

MONK
Not for long!

Stottlemeyer talks into his radio.

STOTTLEMEYER
Fire department's on their way. They'll be here in three minutes.

NATALIE
Mr. Monk. Three minutes! Hold on for three minutes!

INT. SUNNYLAND COMMON ROOM - CONTINUOUS

MONK
What?

Monk looks at a patient beside him.

MONK (CONT'D)
What did she say?

PATIENT #1
I think she said "Three hints." Maybe she wants you to make a guess?

MONK
Guess? Guess what?

Monk looks down at Natalie.

MONK (CONT'D)
What hints!

NATALIE
(Garbled)
...tree ...ants!

MONK
What?

Behind Monk there is a commotion. Nurse Rashid yanks down the blinds.

NURSE RASHID
Help me twist them. We can use this as a rope.

Several of the patients help her twist the long chain of vertical blinds. Then they lower part of it out of the window.

NURSE RASHID (CONT'D)
(To Monk)
Climb down!

MONK
Climb down? This?

Monk steps back. Several patients push past him and start climbing down. When the last one has gone, Monk still won't go!

MONK (CONT'D)
I can't. Isn't there another way?

Nurse Rashid looks past Monk for a moment.

NURSE RASHID
Yes. Close your eyes.

MONK
Why?

NURSE RASHID
Just do it!

Monk closes his eyes. Nurse Rashid pushes him. He falls out the window...and into Stottlemeyer, Natalie, and a fire fighter who are standing on an articulated boom, with the letters S.F.F.D. on the side.

EXT. SUNNYLAND RETREAT - MOMENTS LATER

Now on the ground, Natalie hugs Monk, who stiffens up, and pats her awkwardly on the back. Stottlemeyer calls out to his officers.

STOTTLEMEYER
Don't let anyone leave.

Then a fire exit on the ground floor opens, a few meters away from Stottlemeyer. Doctor Randall staggers out, with Nurse Akiko in his arms. The police draw their weapons.

STOTTLEMEYER (CONT'D)
Now hold it right there, Doctor. You're not going anywhere.

Mr. Monk and the Rubber Room - Act 3, Part 2

Over the past year, I took a TV writing course as a part of my MFA in Creative Writing through the University of British Columbia. During that course, we studied the art of writing teleplays, and during the course we produced a spec script, and an original pilot spec. A spec script is a TV writer's calling card, as it is what shows the agents and TV execs that you can actually write, and write well. A spec is a script is also based on an existing television show, and the reason for this is that if you can show that you have captured the tone and feel of a show that is not yours, then you can theoretically write for any show.

I don't believe I'll ever be a TV writer, as much as I'd like to be, because family commitments prevent me from trying to climb that ladder. But still, I found I enjoyed writing this form.

What follows is not fan fiction, I want to be clear about that, but is my own original spec script for the show Monk.

EXT. SAN FRANCISCO - UNKNOWN STREET - DAY

Natalie, Randy and stottlemeyer stand at a door. Natalie knocks. The door opens.

HOMEOWNER
Can I help you?

Natalie holds up a picture of Monk.

NATALIE
Have you seen this man? He might have passed by sometime in the past 24 hours?

The Homeowner shakes his head.

HOMEOWNER
No. Sorry.

He closes the door. The three walk to the side walk. Natalie sits on the curb. She puts her head in her hands.

NATALIE
This is so crazy. Where did he go?

She is crying. Randy puts his hand on her shoulder.

RANDY
We'll find him. I promise.

STOTTLEMEYER
Natalie, you've been at this since yesterday. You need some rest. Come on, I'll take you home. We've got every man on the force looking. He'll turn up somewhere.

INT. SUNNYLAND COMMON ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Monk enters into the common room. Isaac is across the room. Isaac waves at Monk and points at a table.

ISAAC
There you are! Where've you been hiding!

Monk pauses. He waves hesitantly.

MONK
Um...hello!

ISAAC
Well? What are you waiting for? I got your lunch for you right here!

Monk walks over to Isaac. On the table there are two lunch trays. They are both identical. All of the food has been separated into neat piles. Isaac points at the food.

ISAAC (CONT'D)
I thought I'd try it your way. It's not bad! Thank you!

MONK
Thank you?

ISAAC
Remember? You said I'd thank you for it later, and I am!

Monk smiles and sits down.

MONK
Actually, I think that's the first time that's ever happened.

ISAAC
What's happened?

MONK
That someone has thanked me for it later. I always say 'you'll thank me for it later' but no one ever does. Thank me for it. Later.

Monk coughs.

ISAAC
Really? Well they should have. Hey! What happened with you last night? I heard you got into a bit of a scrap.

MONK
No. I just wanted to leave. But then that Nurse was there, with a needle? What is it with this place and needles?

ISAAC
Needles? I don't know. I haven't had a shot since coming here. Come to think of it, they don't even give me any medication at all.

MONK
None? At all?

ISAAC
Nope. No need for it. There's nothing wrong with me!

MONK
Nothing wrong with you? But that can't be right. Why would you be here?

ISAAC
Oh! Well, it was my aunt, really. She said I was driving her crazy, and thought this place would help me, you know, be a little more normal.

MONK
So let me get this straight. You annoy your aunt, so she sends you to a psychiatric hospital.

ISAAC
It's not so unusual.

MONK
Yes it is.

ISAAC
Not here. Look around here. Do most of these guys look crazy to you?

Monk looks around the room. Some patients are reading books. A few are having a quiet card game. Three or four are watching the news. Others quietly chatting or eating their food.

MONK
No. No they don't.

Monk spots a patient arranging the vertical blinds strangely.

MONK (CONT'D)
Except for him. What's he doing?

ISAAC
Who? Leo? He likes to arrange things around here. He's like our decorator.

MONK
Where did he learn to decorate? Everything's...wrong.

ISAAC
Wrong? How?

MONK
What do you mean how? Just look? It's all...uneven. Some are open, some are closed. There's not even a pattern there. You know what, maybe I can help him fix it.

ISAAC
Uh...I don't think that's such a good idea. He get's pretty sensitive about his arrangements.

MONK
I'm sure he won't mind.

Monk stands up and walks over to where the vertical blinds begin, and starts setting them all in the open position. Leo is ahead of him some way, and doesn't see what Monk is doing. Isaac walks up to Monk.

ISAAC
He's going to get mad when he sees this.

MONK
For what? Fixing the blinds? He'll thank me later.

ISAAC
I don't know about that.

Isaac trails Monk. Monk methodically opens each blind.

LEO (O.S.)
Hey! What are you doing!

ISAAC
See! I told you.

Monk turns and sees Leo running across the room toward him.

LEO
Stop it! What are you doing? You're ruining everything!

MONK
Ruining?

Leo runs to where the blinds begin, and reorients them. Monk moves forward, opening more blinds. They both move faster and faster. They stare at each other like gunfighters.

LEO
Stop it!

MONK
No, you stop it!

LEO
You're ruining the pattern!

ISAAC
I told you.

MONK
What pattern! There is no pattern!

Monk is now on the other side of the room. Leo catches up with him and they start struggling over one blind.

MONK (CONT'D)
(Grunting)
You'll...thank...me...later

LEO
No! You philistine! You destroyer!

MONK
Destroy what? There is no pattern!

LEO
Zero, one, one, two, three, five, eight, thirteen, twenty one!

Monk's hands slip. He falls against the window.

LEO (CONT'D)
Ha!

MONK
A Fibonacci sequence? That's your pattern?

Monk looks across the room. He sees the pattern. Then Monk looks at Isaac, who is looking out the window, waving.

MONK (CONT'D)
Who uses a Fibonacci sequence?

LEO
Philistine! Simpleton!

Isaac looks over and smiles.

ISAAC
Don't worry about Leo. He'll go away soon. Just don't mess up the blinds.

Leo huffs. He gives Monk a strong glare, then leaves.

MONK
Who are you waving at?

ISAAC
Oh! My aunt. She's out there with her group?

MONK
Your aunt is there? Not visiting you?

ISAAC
Oh no. She sees me once a month. But she's meeting her group now.

Monk looks out the window. He sees a large group of old women having tea on the lawn. Doctor Randall is with them. A nurse is passing out gifts, and collecting envelopes.

MONK
Is it a birthday?

ISAAC
No? Why?

MONK
Why are they giving out gifts?

ISAAC
Beats me! Just something they do every week.

MONK
Every week?

ISAAC
Yep. They come in like a storm, talk to Doctor Randall, and leave! All sunshine a light. That Doctor Randall sure is a miracle worker.

Monk's face lights up.

ISAAC (CONT'D)
What?

MONK
I think I've solved the case!

ISAAC
The case? You mean Ken?

MONK
Yes. And here's what happened.

Monk walks away from the window. The other patients in the room are now looking at Monk.

MONK (CONT'D)
When I met Mrs. Casey, she seemed distraught. She believed her son had been murdered, but wouldn't say why. When we came to Sunnyland, her mood changed, she was irritable, angry. But then she seemed desperate to see Doctor Randall. Like she needed something.

ISAAC
Like what?

MONK
When I was in the lobby, I saw that group of women. They were all angry, and agitated, and waiting to meet Doctor Randall also.

ISAAC
He is pretty popular.

MONK
Yes, but why? That's the question. And now I see it clearly. You're not here because you're sick. Neither was Ken, or a number of people here. You are all here, because one way or another, you were convinced it would be for your benefit to be here. But the real benefit wasn't to you at all, it was to them.

Monk points out the window, at the group of women. Doctor Randall is not there.

ISAAC
What benefit?

MONK
A place like this would normally be very expensive. Except...

ISAAC
Except what?

MONK
Except if payment was by a different method.

ISAAC
Like what?

MONK
You said they come in like a storm, and leave like sunshine a light. Well there was a good reason for that. Those gifts they're being given, there not gifts they're merchandise. Maybe Oxycontin, or some sort of mood changing anti-depressant.
Those weekly meetings with Doctor Randall weren't meetings with their doctor, they were meetings with their dealer. He gives them their weekly fix. They use it and sell it, and come back each week for some more.

ISAAC
Are you saying my aunt's a drug dealer?

MONK
And Doctor Randall is their supplier. That's what happened to Ken. He figured out what happened, but before he could leave and blow the whistle, he was murdered. Most of the patients here aren't taking medication, and I'm willing to bet he wasn't either. Someone else gave him the overdose.

DOCTOR RANDALL (O.S.)
And who would that be?

Monk turns around. Doctor Randall is standing there. Two orderlies grab Monk.

DOCTOR RANDALL (CONT'D)
Quite a story, Mr. Johnson! Or should I say, Mr. Monk? Isn't that what you keep calling yourself? San Francisco's greatest detective?

MONK
You. You're the guy. You murdered Ken to keep your scam a secret. And you were planning on getting rid of me. But now everybody in this room knows your little secret, Doctor. And you can't kill us all.

DOCTOR RANDALL
I'm sorry to say it's all a figment of your disturbed imagination. I see my work has failed thus far, Mr. Johnson. Not to worry, I'm not giving up on you.

Doctor Randall motions to the orderlies.

DOCTOR RANDALL (CONT'D)
Take him away.

Mr. Monk and the Rubber Room - Act 3, Part 1

Over the past year, I took a TV writing course as a part of my MFA in Creative Writing through the University of British Columbia. During that course, we studied the art of writing teleplays, and during the course we produced a spec script, and an original pilot spec. A spec script is a TV writer's calling card, as it is what shows the agents and TV execs that you can actually write, and write well. A spec is a script is also based on an existing television show, and the reason for this is that if you can show that you have captured the tone and feel of a show that is not yours, then you can theoretically write for any show.

I don't believe I'll ever be a TV writer, as much as I'd like to be, because family commitments prevent me from trying to climb that ladder. But still, I found I enjoyed writing this form.

What follows is not fan fiction, I want to be clear about that, but is my own original spec script for the show Monk.

ACT THREE

EXT. SAN FRANCISCO - UNKNOWN STREET - NIGHT

Natalie is driving along a city street, looking for Monk.

NATALIE
Mr. Monk? Mr. Monk?

She calls out his name continuously as she drives.

INT. POLICE STATION - MOMENTS LATER

Captain Stottlemeyer is briefing a group of police officers. Randy is with him.

STOTTLEMEYER
Now we all what Monk looks like, and how he his. Keep an eye out for odd behavior. Canvass people in your areas and see what you can turn up.

The officer start to move off, when Stottlemeyer stops them.

STOTTLEMEYER (CONT'D)
And remember! We believe he may be disturbed, and not himself, so be careful!

RANDY
Captain, what should we do?

STOTTLEMEYER
Well Randy, I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

INT. SUNNYLAND PATIENT'S ROOM - MORNING

A light turns on and Monk's eyes open. The light is too bright, so he shades his eyes as he sits up in his bed.

NURSE AKIKO (O.S.)
Rise and shine Mr. Johnson.

The Japanese Nurse walks into view, in front of Monk. Monk isn't looking up at her yet. He's holding his head in his hands.

MONK
Mr. Johnson? Why do you all keep calling me that? My name is...

Monk looks up and recognizes the nurse.

MONK (CONT'D)
You!

NURSE AKIKO
Because that's your name, Mr. Johnson. That's why you're here. So we can help you.

Monk looks panicked.

MONK
You're not trying to help me! You're in on this!

Monk starts to stand up, but the nurse pushes him back on the bed.

MONK (CONT'D)
(Screaming)
Help! Help! Somebody!

Monk starts to get up again, and the nurse pushes him back, but he struggles with her.

NURSE AKIKO
Help me hold him down!

An orderly runs into the room and grabs Monk, pinning his arms behind his back. The nurse pulls a needle out of her pocket and jabs it into Monk.

MONK
No! Don't! Not that...

Monk looks woozy, but doesn't fall unconscious.

MONK (CONT'D)
This is not the same thing that you...
(mumbles)
Have you seen Natalie? My sandwich has a vacuum cleaner.

Monk slumps down on his bed. Not unconscious, but not in control. He has been drugged.

INT. SUNNYLAND DOCTOR RANDALL'S OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER

Doctor Randall is sitting at his desk, working on some paper work. Nurse Akiko walks into the room, angry.

NURSE AKIKO
We have to do something about him. We can't keep him forever.

Doctor Randall looks up at her, and takes his reading glass off.

DOCTOR RANDALL
Well we can't kill him.

NURSE AKIKO
Why not?

DOCTOR RANDALL
Are you kidding? He's too recognizable!

NURSE AKIKO
How? I've never heard of him.

DOCTOR RANDALL
Maybe you haven't but half the city has. If he turned up dead somewhere, we'd have the cops at our door before we could blink. As it is, we're under too much scrutiny now. We can't take chances.

NURSE AKIKO
If he's as famous as you say, then somebody inside is going to recognize him sooner or later. What do you want me to do?

DOCTOR RANDALL
Well...I don't know. We don't really have the facilities to keep him isolated. We can only seal off the one wing. Maybe...maybe we could distract him? I was doing a little research, and he's a complete basket case. He's afraid of everything.
(Beat)
Maybe we could play that up.

Nurse Akiko smiles, understanding.

NURSE AKIKO
Make him crazy for real. So the others will want to stay away from him.

DOCTOR RANDALL
Then when people have forgotten about him, he'll just disappear.

EXT. CITY PARK

ANGLE ON
Monk's face, close up. He's smiling dreamily. The camera shifts back away from Monk, and he is flying, or floating prone in the air. His arms are out to the side. He seems happy, then he looks down. He screams.

MONK
Ahhhh!

The Monk is standing on the ground. He is patting himself, checking what happened, looking over himself for signs of dirt. Monk looks up and sees a Merry-Go-Round, it is slowly spinning.

MONK (CONT'D)
(Softly, smiling)
A merry go round.

Monk walks up and touches his finger to each pole as it slowly passes. Then the merry go round speeds up. Monk touches the poles faster and faster as they pass him. Soon the merry go round is spinning so fast that Monk can't keep up, and he's panicking.

Then TRUDY calls out to him

TRUDY (O.S.)
Adrian?

Monk turns his head and sees Trudy. His hands are still trying touch the poles.

MONK
Trudy?

TRUDY
You have to get on Adrian.

MONK
Get on? How? It's going too fast!

TRUDY
You have to see from the inside out.

MONK
Inside out? What does that even mean?

TRUDY
Adrian. Please. Get on.

Monk is at a loss for words. He looks at the rapidly spinning merry go round. He looks back at Trudy.

Then, Monk is on. He is surprised. He had not moved. But he is now on the merry go round. The camera is close up on his face. The world behind him is spinning rapidly. The camera moves away. Monk is holding on for dear life.

MONK
Okay! What do I do now?

Monk looks around. He doesn't see Trudy.

MONK (CONT'D)
Trudy? Trudy!
(Beat)
Where are you?

VOICE (O.S.)
I'm right here!

Monk looks around. He is still on the merry go round. It is still spinning.

MONK
Where? I can't see you!

VOICE (O.S.)
Open your eyes!

MONK
They are open! Where are you?

VOICE (O.S.)
Open your eyes!

INT. SUNNYLAND PATIENT'S ROOM

Nurse Rashid is kneeling over Monk. He is on the floor. She holds his head up. Monk opens his eyes.

MONK
Trudy?

NURSE RASHID
Mr. Johnson. Are you all right?

Monk is baffled. His head jerks. He looks all around.

MONK
I...I was...
Nurse Rashid picks up his chart. She looks confused.

NURSE RASHID
There must have been a mix up in your meds. I don't see...

Monk shakes his head. He waves his arm back and forth.

MONK
Needle!...there was a needle!...I don't even know if it was clean! Do you have a wipe? I need a wipe. Or some soap. Or a knife. Maybe I can cut the flesh around it, and you can cauterize it. Do you have a lighter, or a blowtorch? A blowtorch would work. That's probably the best thing.

Nurse Rashid looks at him strangely.

NURSE RASHID
Did you say needle?

Monk nods his head.

MONK
Yes. The nurse. Other...other nurse. The, um...

Monk waves his hand in front of his face in a circle. Nurse Rashid copies this motion.

NURSE RASHID
(Confused)
The mystery nurse?

Monk shakes his head and circles his hand in front of his face some more.

NURSE RASHID (CONT'D)
Wax on, wax off?

Monk looks confused.

MONK
She...the...different one..

NURSE RASHID
Different one? You mean Nurse Akiko? The word is "Japanese" Mr. Johnson.
(Angrily)
And I have to tell you, that's a pretty rude thing to say. We don't accept racism here at Sunnyland.

Monk looks mortified.

MONK
What!? No! I, I meant...

Nurse Rashid smiles, and laughs.

NURSE RASHID
Don't worry. I'm just pushing your buttons. Still, I think there was a mix up. I'll look into it.

Nurse Rashid gets up to leave.

MONK
Wait? Where are you going?

NURSE RASHID
Don't worry Mr. Johnson. You'll be fine. Just go and get some lunch.

MONK
Lunch? What time is it?

NURSE RASHID
Lunch time!

Mr. Monk and the Rubber Room - Act 2, Part 2

Over the past year, I took a TV writing course as a part of my MFA in Creative Writing through the University of British Columbia. During that course, we studied the art of writing teleplays, and during the course we produced a spec script, and an original pilot spec. A spec script is a TV writer's calling card, as it is what shows the agents and TV execs that you can actually write, and write well. A spec is a script is also based on an existing television show, and the reason for this is that if you can show that you have captured the tone and feel of a show that is not yours, then you can theoretically write for any show.

I don't believe I'll ever be a TV writer, as much as I'd like to be, because family commitments prevent me from trying to climb that ladder. But still, I found I enjoyed writing this form.

What follows is not fan fiction, I want to be clear about that, but is my own original spec script for the show Monk.

INT. SUNNYLAND COMMON ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Monk is standing next to the orderly who is guarding the exit.

MONK
Hi...Um...Hello.
(Beat)
Sir. I have to go through...that door.

Monk points.

ORDERLY
Sorry, but you can't do that.

MONK
Actually, I can...

Monk makes a moving aside motion with his hand.

MONK (CONT'D)
You just have to step out of my way.

The Orderly gets an angry look on his face.

ORDERLY
Are you threatening me?

Monk steps back, hands up in a placating gesture.

MONK
No! No. Not threatening.
(Laughs nervously)
Me threatening you? No, absolutely not. You're, you're very...large.

ORDERLY
I think you should go eat your food.

MONK
Well, that's the thing, you see. There's been a mistake. I'm not supposed to be here. A mix up. You see, my name's Adrian Monk, and I'm...I'm not supposed to be here. So if you wouldn't mind.

Monk makes another move aside gesture with his hand.

MONK (CONT'D)
I'll just be on my way.

The Orderly stares hard at Monk, unblinkingly.

MONK (CONT'D)
Or...or not. Food sounds pretty good.

Monk walks away.

INT. MONK'S APARTMENT - LATER

Natalie and Randy walk in the door.

NATALIE
Mr. Monk? Are you here? Hello?

Randy walks past her and looks around.

RANDY
He's not here.

NATALIE
Where else would he go?

RANDY
Doctor Bell, maybe?

CAPTAIN STOTTLEMEYER walks through the door.

STOTTLEMEYER
Is he here?

NATALIE
Captain Stottlemeyer! Thank god you're here.

Randy walks back from the hallway.

RANDY
He's not here.

STOTTLEMEYER
Tell me again what happened?

NATALIE
We were at the Sunnyland Retreat?

STOTTLEMEYER
Retreat?

NATALIE
It's, uh, a place where...

RANDY
It's a loony bin.

Natalie flashes Randy a look.

RANDY (CONT'D)
What? It is.

STOTTLEMEYER
Can you hurry it up?

NATALIE
We were there because a friend of Randy...

RANDY
Neighbor, actually.

NATALIE
Whatever. Neighbor. Her son committed suicide, but she thinks he was murdered.

STOTTLEMEYER
Okay. I remember hearing about that. The medical examiner ruled that it was a suicide. What id Monk say?

NATALIE
I don't know! There were these cranky old women, and then I was thrown out by the security guard.

STOTTLEMEYER
Thrown out? What did you do?

NATALIE
Nothing! I was trying to get to Monk.

STOTTLEMEYER
Maybe he's still there.

RANDY
I saw the tapes.

STOTTLEMEYER
Pardon?

RANDY
The tapes. The, uh, security tapes. Monk left out the side door.

STOTTLEMEYER
Are you sure he didn't just go for a walk?

NATALIE
Mr. Monk?

STOTTLEMEYER
Yeah, you're right. Something's going on. I'll put out an APB. In the meantime, let's go to Sunnyland and start canvassing the area around there.

All three leave the apartment.

INT. SUNNYLAND COMMON ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Monk sits down at a table with Isaac. There is an extra tray of food. Isaac points to it.

ISAAC
I got you something to eat. Hope you don't mind!

Monk looks down at his food. He doesn't like what he sees.

MONK
What is it?

ISAAC
It's dinner! Eat up.

MONK
I know that's what you call it, but what is it?

ISAAC
Dinner. Food.

MONK
Well, that's one opinion.

Monk looks at the food with distaste. It's a mishmash of unidentifiable vegetables, meats and a green-brown gravy.

MONK (CONT'D)
You know, it's really not natural.

ISAAC
What's not natural?

MONK
Your food, like that. It didn't grow that way.

ISAAC
No. But it tastes good this way!

MONK
You should try, you know, separating it. Then eating. Trust me. You'll thank me for it later.

ISAAC
Okay... Say! What happened to your head?

MONK
Someone hit me over the head.

ISAAC
What did you do?

MONK
Did you know Ken Casey? He was a patient here.

ISAAC
Ken? Sure! He was a great guy. He was my meal buddy. We ate together pretty much every day.

MONK
Really? Did he ever seem agitated? Did he seem violent or anti-social?

ISAAC
Ken? No way! I mean, anti-social, a little. But not in a bad way. He was just kind of shy, you know. A quiet guy.

MONK
Do you know why he was here?

ISAAC
Same reason most of us are here.

MONK
Which is?

ISAAC
(Smiling)
Beats me! Did you know Ken?

MONK
No. I knew his mother. Actually that's why I'm here?
Isaac smiles, looking very interested.

ISAAC
Oh, you bad boy! Do tell!

MONK
No! No..not like that.

Monk waves his hands in front of his face dismissively.

MONK (CONT'D)
She hired me. I'm a private detective. I used to be a police officer, actually...well never mind. Anyways, she suspected that Ken's death wasn't a suicide.

ISAAC
It wasn't?

Monk leans forward.

MONK
No.
(Whispering)
He was murdered.

Isaac gasps, holds his hands to his mouth.

ISAAC
No! Do you know who killed him?

MONK
I think so. I know he found something out. I read it on a letter he wrote.

ISAAC
What did he find out?

MONK
I don't know! It just said that he learned about something that he was going to take to the police.

There is a commotion in the room. Two patients start fighting, and other patients start gathering around them, cheering them on.

MONK (CONT'D)
What is this? A schoolyard?

Monk sees the Orderly by the door move to break up the fight.

MONK (CONT'D)
It's been nice speaking to you. I'd better go.

Monk hustles over to the door and opens it. He passes through and runs into the Japanese Nurse. Her name tag says Nurse Akiko.

NURSE AKIKO
And where are you going?

Monk points past her.

MONK
Uh, that way. Out.

NURSE AKIKO
No you're not.

MONK
Actually, I am. You see, there's been a big mistake. There's something going on. There was a murder, and I have to get to the police.

NURSE AKIKO
Really?

Nurse Akiko smiles at Monk calmly for a moment, then starts to scream hysterically.

NURSE AKIKO (CONT'D)
Help! Help! He's trying to rape me!

MONK
(Panicking)
What? No I'm not!

Monk turns around as two large orderlies come through the door and tackle him.

NURSE AKIKO
Hold him down!

They pin Monk to the floor. The nurse runs off for a moment then comes back with a needle. While Monk struggles, she injects him. Monk loses consciousness.

Mr. Monk and the Rubber Room - Act 2, Part 1

Over the past year, I took a TV writing course as a part of my MFA in Creative Writing through the University of British Columbia. During that course, we studied the art of writing teleplays, and during the course we produced a spec script, and an original pilot spec. A spec script is a TV writer's calling card, as it is what shows the agents and TV execs that you can actually write, and write well. A spec is a script is also based on an existing television show, and the reason for this is that if you can show that you have captured the tone and feel of a show that is not yours, then you can theoretically write for any show.

I don't believe I'll ever be a TV writer, as much as I'd like to be, because family commitments prevent me from trying to climb that ladder. But still, I found I enjoyed writing this form.

What follows is not fan fiction, I want to be clear about that, but is my own original spec script for the show Monk.

ACT TWO

INT. SUNNYLAND FOYER - LATER

Natalie is walking through the foyer, holding her hand up to her face, trying to hide as she passes the gaggle of elderly women who are waiting impatiently in the lobby. Several glare at Natalie as she walks past.

When Natalie reaches the elevator, a guard stops her.

GUARD
I'm sorry ma'am, but you can't go up there without an escort.

NATALIE
But my boss, Mr. Monk, he just went up there. I'm his assistant.

GUARD
I'm sorry, but you can't go alone.

NATALIE
Can't you take me?

GUARD
No ma'am, I can't leave my post. If you'll just have a seat, I'm sure the doctor will be around shortly.

Natalie looks disconcerted, but she does as asked. After Natalie sits down, the elevator opens and a Japanese nurse walks into the lobby. A small, dark stain is visible on the sleeve of her uniform, and around her armpit. She looks slightly harried.

NATALIE
(to the nurse)
Excuse me! Excuse me!

The nurse stops and looks at Natalie, confused.

NURSE
Yes?

NATALIE
Have you seen Doctor Randall? He's with my boss and I need to get to him.

The nurse hesitates a moment.

NURSE
Doctor Randall is busy right now. Sorry, but I have to take care of something.

The nurse walks away. Natalie watches as she approaches the group of old women.

OLD WOMAN #1
What's been keeping you!

OLD WOMAN #2
You know how long we've been waiting here!

The nurse makes a calming gesture.

NURSE
Sorry. We have to reschedule! Doctor Randall is indisposed.

OLD WOMAN #1
Reschedule! Where is he!

The nurse signals to the guard, who walks away from his post. When the guard passes her, Natalie walks quickly over to the elevator. She pushes the button and waits. The doors open, she enters, turns around, and sees a different guard.

GUARD #2
And where are you going?

NATALIE
I...uh...

GUARD #2
Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to leave the building.

NATALIE
But Mr. Monk! He's...

GUARD #2
This way please, ma'am.

The Guard escorts Natalie past the old women, who are still arguing with the nurse, and out the front door.

INT. SUNNYLAND PATIENT'S ROOM - LATER

We see from Monk's POV as Monk's eyes open. His vision is very blurry. He sees a woman who vaguely resembles Natalie.

MONK
(Dry, croaking voice)
Natalie? What happened?

Monk holds his head and groans.

MONK (CONT'D)
Ken didn't commit suicide. He was murdered.

Monk looks at his hand.

MONK (CONT'D)
Blood!

Monk gasps.

MONK (CONT'D)
Wipe! I need a wipe!

No longer in Monk's POV, Monk looks up and sees a nurse. Her name tag says NURSE RASHID.

MONK (CONT'D)
You're not Natalie. Where's Natalie? What happened?

NURSE RASHID
It seems you hurt yourself, Mr. Johnson.

The Nurse holds up a wet cloth.

NURSE RASHID
Let me take a look at it.

MONK
Who's Mr. Johnson? My name is Adrian Monk. You know, the famous detective?

Nurse Rashid cleans Monk's wound.

NURSE RASHID
Of course you are, Mr. Johnson.
(Beat)
It looks like you cut your scalp. It bled a lot, but you'll be fine.

Monk notices he is wearing a patient's gown.

MONK
Where are my clothes?

NURSE RASHID
I think you dirtied them during your accident.

MONK
Accident? What accident?

Nurse Rashid grabs a clipboard.

NURSE RASHID
It says on your chart that you slipped and hit your head. If you want, I can call Doctor Randall over to speak with you.

Monk's eyes flash, remembering.

MONK
Doctor Randall! Now I remember. He's the guy!

NURSE RASHID
The guy?

Monk leans forward.

MONK
(Quietly)
The murderer.

NURSE RASHID
Excuse me?

MONK
He murdered Ken Casey. It wasn't a suicide.

Nurse Rashid gives Monk a skeptical look. She points at Monk's injury.

NURSE RASHID
How about we put a bandage on that, shall we?

EXT. SUNNYLAND RETREAT - LATER

Natalie is outside the front doors, visibly upset. Randy appears.

RANDY
Natalie! You're still here?

NATALIE
Randy! Thank God you're here. They kicked me out.

RANDY
Kicked you out?

NATALIE
You have to help me. Mr. Monk is still inside. He's been there for hours.

Randy and Natalie walk inside.

INT. SUNNYLAND FOYER - MOMENTS LATER

As Randy and Natalie walk into the foyer, Doctor Randall is exiting the elevator.

NATALIE
Doctor Randall!

DOCTOR RANDALL
Oh! Yes...Miss?...

NATALIE
Natalie. I'm Mr. Monk's assistant. Do you know where he is? I've been waiting for hours!

Doctor Randall seems confused.

DOCTOR RANDALL
That's strange. He left quite a while ago?

NATALIE
That's impossible. I've been here the whole time. I would have seen him.

RANDY
Are you sure he left?

DOCTOR RANDALL
(to the Guard)
Can you come here for a second?

GUARD
Sir?

DOCTOR RANDALL
Did you see Mr. Monk leave? He's a short fellow. Dark, curly hair. Beige suit.

GUARD
Yes sir. A few hours ago, actually.

Natalie is angry. She is shaking her head.

NATALIE
Nuh, uh. I'd have seen him. There's no way he left without me.

GUARD
He went out the side exit, I think over there.

RANDY
Are you sure?

GUARD
Absolutely. We've got cameras on the exits. I can show you, if you'd like.

RANDY
Please.

Randy leaves with the guard.

DOCTOR RANDALL
Well, there we are, then. Mystery solved! He looked a little out of sorts when I spoke with him. Perhaps he want home to rest.

NATALIE
Mr. Monk wouldn't do that.

DOCTOR RANDALL
What can I say? People are full of surprises. I'm sure he'll turn up.

Doctor Randall leaves. Standing alone, Natalie looks worried.

NATALIE
Mr. Monk?

INT. SUNNYLAND PATIENT'S ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Monk is sitting alone, on a bed. His head is bandaged, and he is adjusting it. The bandage is on a slant, and he is trying to make it level. The door to his room opens. ISSAC looks in.

ISSAC
Hey there, new guy?

MONK
Can...can I help you?

ISSAC
I'm Isaac. You're neighbor. What's your name?

MONK
Monk. Adrian Monk.

ISSAC
Really, that's not what it says on your door. Is this your room?

MONK
No. It's not my room. It's not my anything. I'm not supposed to be here.

ISSAC
Where are you supposed to be?

MONK
Not here.

ISSAC
I know where I'm supposed to be.

MONK
Good for you.

ISAAC
You want to know where that is?

MONK
Not really.

ISAAC
Dinner! It's dinner time! Want to go?

MONK
The only place I want to go is out of here. You know how I can do that?

ISAAC
Sure! I know the way.

Monk's head snaps up, surprised.

MONK
You do?

ISAAC
You bet! Come on, I'll show you!

Monk gets up and follows Isaac out into the hallway.

MONK
Are you sure you know the way out of here?

ISAAC
Of course I do!

INT. SUNNYLAND COMMON ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Monk and Isaac enter into a large common room. There are numerous patients milling about. Three large orderlies stand watch around the periphery of the room. There is a TV on in the far corner showing the local news. Patients are lining up at a counter, waiting to be served trays of food.

MONK
So...so how do I get out? Where's the exit?

Isaac points to a door guarded by an orderly.

ISAAC
There!

MONK
But there's someone there! And he's huge!

ISAAC
You bet! And even if you get past him, they have cameras throughout the halls, which means that security would see you leaving!

Monk is angry.

MONK
You lied!

Isaac is indignant.

ISAAC
No I didn't! You wanted to know the way out, and that's the way out. So you ready to eat?

MONK
Eat?

EXT. SUNNYLAND RETREAT - MOMENTS LATER

Randy returns, and walks up to Natalie.

RANDY
They're right. He left.

NATALIE
Are you sure?

RANDY
I saw the tapes myself. He went out the side door.

NATALIE
I can't believe it!

RANDY
Neither can I.

NATALIE
Something must be wrong. We have to find him. Can you get stottlemeyer?

RANDY
Got it.

Randy doesn't move. He pulls out his phone and tapping out a text message.

NATALIE
Randy! What are you doing?

RANDY
Getting stottlemeyer.

Natalie grabs his phone out of his hands. She throws it into the grass.

RANDY (CONT'D)
Hey!

NATALIE
This isn't time for an instant message.

Randy pulls another phone out of his pocket.

NATALIE (CONT'D)
Another phone?

RANDY
I'll make a call.

NATALIE
Okay. Fine. Just tell him what happened, that Mr. Monk is missing.

Randy dials, and a ringing sound can be heard a short distance away. Natalie looks confused.

RANDY
There it is!

Randy walks a short distance and picks up his phone.

NATALIE
Are you kidding me? Two phones?

RANDY
What? They were on sale. I got one for stottlemeyer too. Come to think of it, I'm probably going to regret that. He keeps texting me all the time.

NATALIE
Call!

RANDY
No. He likes to text for some reason.

NATALIE
No! Call him!

RANDY
Oh! Yeah, of course.

Randy dials the phone.

Mr. Monk and the Rubber Room - Act I, Part 2

Over the past year, I took a TV writing course as a part of my MFA in Creative Writing through the University of British Columbia. During that course, we studied the art of writing teleplays, and during the course we produced a spec script, and an original pilot spec. A spec script is a TV writer's calling card, as it is what shows the agents and TV execs that you can actually write, and write well. A spec is a script is also based on an existing television show, and the reason for this is that if you can show that you have captured the tone and feel of a show that is not yours, then you can theoretically write for any show.

I don't believe I'll ever be a TV writer, as much as I'd like to be, because family commitments prevent me from trying to climb that ladder. But still, I found I enjoyed writing this form.

What follows is not fan fiction, I want to be clear about that, but is my own original spec script for the show Monk.

EXT. SUNNYLAND RETREAT - DAY

Natalie's car pulls up to a building at the end of a roundabout driveway. Monk, Natalie, and Mrs. Casey get out of the car. Monk looks up at the building.

MONK
Natalie, what type of place did you say this was?

NATALIE
It's uh...a...

MRS. CASEY
A retreat. It's a retreat. For rest and recovery.

MONK
Rest and recovery?

Monk looks suspicious.

MONK (CONT'D)
Natalie...

Monk spins and grabs at the car. Natalie whips out her keys, and hits the automatic lock button..

MONK (CONT'D)
Natalie. Unlock the door, please.

NATALIE
Mr. Monk. We have to help Mrs. Casey.

MONK
Now that I think of it, I have a lot to do.

Monk looks over at Mrs. Casey.

MONK (CONT'D)
I'd love to help you, it' just that I've got a lot to do right now. I have a lot on my plate.

NATALIE
No you don't!

MONK
Open the door, Natalie.

NATALIE
Mr. Monk.

MONK
Natalie.

NATALIE
No.

MONK
I'm ordering you...I can always find another assistant.

NATALIE
Fat chance, Mr. Monk.

Monk looks at Natalie's keys. The he runs toward Natalie. Natalie circles the car, maintaining her distance.

NATALIE (CONT'D)
You're not getting the keys, Mr. Monk.

MONK
Do you know what this place is?!

NATALIE
It's a retreat.

MONK
A retreat? It's a loony bin! Do you know what happened the last time I went into one of these places? Someone tried to kill me!

Mrs. Casey's looks agitated.

MRS. CASEY
Well unlike you, my son wasn't so lucky. It's not like you're going to be a patient.

Natalie looks surprised.

NATALIE
Uh...okay...

MRS. CASEY
What's wrong with you anyway? You're a grown man and you act like a child!

Monk looks surprised.

MRS. CASEY (CONT'D)
Well? Some time today?

Natalie and Monk share a confused look.

INT. SUNNYLAND FOYER - DAY

Natalie, Monk, and Mrs. Casey are seated in the foyer. Monk fidgets, looks around. Natalie puts her hand on his arm. An elevator opens. A doctor and a Japanese nurse exit. Mrs. Casey spots the doctor and jumps up.

MRS. CASEY
Doctor Randall! Over here!

Doctor Randall smiles a big, fake smile, and says something inaudible to the nurse. The nurse leaves.

DOCTOR RANDALL
Mrs. Casey! It's so good to see you. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Doctor Randall walks over. Monk and Natalie stand.

DOCTOR RANDALL (CONT'D)
Is this you family?

He holds out his hand to Monk.

DOCTOR RANDALL (CONT'D)
Hi. I'm Doctor Randall. I'm sorry for your loss.

They shake. Monk asks Natalie for a wipe.

MONK
I'm not family.

Doctor Randall looks confused.

DOCTOR RANDALL
Oh! So...

NATALIE
We're here to look into Ken's death. We just came to have a look around his room.

Doctor Randall nods his head.

DOCTOR RANDALL
I see. I wish I could help you, but it's an official crime scene, and I have strict orders from the police.

Doctor Randall shrugs.

NATALIE
Actually, we're with the police. Mr. Monk is a private investigator working with the San Francisco police department.

DOCTOR RANDALL
I'm sorry. I'd love to believe you, but...

Randy arrives.

RANDY
Hey Monk. Sorry, I got caught up with stottlemeyer. Thanks for coming.

Doctor Randall tenses up. Mrs. Casey stares at the doctor.

Monk, Natalie, and Randy move towards the elevator

MRS. CASEY
(Pleading)
Doctor Randall, can I talk you for a minute, please?

Monk, Natalie, and Randy stop and watch. Doctor Randall seems nervous.

DOCTOR RANDALL
I'm sorry. I'm really busy right now. I...

MRS. CASEY
It'll just be for a minute. I just...I need your help...if you could just help me...

Doctor Randall backs away, and moves towards the others.

DOCTOR RANDALL
Like I said. I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do.

Monk and Natalie look at Randy, who shrugs his shoulders.

There is a loud commotion at the entrance of the foyer. There are several elderly women, agitated and angry.

OLD WOMAN #1
Hey! Who's the idiot who blocked the driveway?

OLD WOMAN #2
Move it so we can get our bus through!

Natalie gasps.

NATALIE
Oh my god. That's my car. I'll meet you up there Mr. Monk. I just have to move the car.

Natalie is embarrassed. She leaves. Randy pulls out his cell phone and reads a text message.

RANDY
Sorry. I gotta go. Stottlemeyer needs to see me again. I'll catch you when I come back, Monk.

Randy shakes his head.

RANDY (CONT'D)
If you want some advice. Don't ever get stottlemeyer a Blackberry for a birthday gift. He'll take over your life.

Randy walks off. As he goes, Mrs. Casey walks over to Doctor Randall and Monk.

DOCTOR RANDALL
I'm sorry, but I can't let you come up with us.

Doctor Randall away. Mrs. Casey looks devastated. The Doctor and Monk walk to the elevator. As the doors close, Doctor Randall smiles his big fake smile at Monk, who pretend smiles back.

INT. SUNNYLAND INPATIENT WING - DAY
Monk is looking around Ken's room.

DOCTOR RANDALL
The other officer said it looked like an open and shut case. A clear case of suicide.

MONK
Mm..hmm..

Monk bends down, looks at the carpet. There is a tape outline of the body.

DOCTOR RANDALL
My staff have all given statements, which support the suicide finding. Ken was just more disturbed than we thought.

Monk nods, keeps looking around the room.

DOCTOR RANDALL (CONT'D)
He saved up his medication and overdosed on it.

Monk looks over at Doctor Randall.

MONK
And how do they know that?

DOCTOR RANDALL
It was written in the suicide note. As I said, Ken was a very disturbed person. Very anti-social, with violent tendencies.

Monk looks skeptical.

DOCTOR RANDALL (CONT'D)
Though mostly of the self-inflicted kind. I felt sorry for him, but there was nothing to be done. He was committed indefinitely...
(Beat)

DOCTOR RANDALL (CONT'D)
So this was probably his only way out. A real tragedy.

Monk nods.

MONK
Yeah. It was probably a suicide.

Monk starts to leave, but then stops.

MONK (CONT'D)
Did you say he was committed indefinitely? And that he was violent?

Doctor Randall nods.

MONK (CONT'D)
Well, his mother claims Ken was peaceful, she said it was all a mistake. That he was coming home its weekend.

Doctor Randall shakes his head ruefully and responds.

DOCTOR RANDALL
Mothers often only see good in their children. And patients like Ken often invent positive scenarios for themselves, to help them get through the day.

The Japanese nurse from the foyer arrives, shares a look with the doctor. Monk doesn't see her. He Stands by the dresser, and bends down.

MONK
There's dirt here.

DOCTOR RANDALL
I doubt that. Rooms are cleaned daily.
Doctor Randall looks grim, no longer smiling.

MONK
Which means this dresser was moved.

Monk crouches down.

MONK (CONT'D)
There's something here.

Monk pushes tilts the dresser, and pulls out a piece of paper. He looks at the paper, and reads for a moment. Then his head snaps up in realization.

MONK (CONT'D)
It was murder.

As Monk starts to stand, he is hit on the head with a heavy object, and falls, unconscious, to the floor.

Mr. Monk and the Rubber Room - Act I, Part 1

Over the past year, I took a TV writing course as a part of my MFA in Creative Writing through the University of British Columbia. During that course, we studied the art of writing teleplays, and during the course we produced a spec script, and an original pilot spec. A spec script is a TV writer's calling card, as it is what shows the agents and TV execs that you can actually write, and write well. A spec is a script is also based on an existing television show, and the reason for this is that if you can show that you have captured the tone and feel of a show that is not yours, then you can theoretically write for any show.

I don't believe I'll ever be a TV writer, as much as I'd like to be, because family commitments prevent me from trying to climb that ladder. But still, I found I enjoyed writing this form.

What follows is not fan fiction, I want to be clear about that, but is my own original spec script for the show Monk.

ACT ONE

INT. DOCTOR BELL'S OFFICE - DAY

MONK is hunched over in his chair, holding his head in his hands. DOCTOR BELL is leaning back, listening intently.

MONK
It doesn't matter. Nothing matters.
Doctor Bell leans forward, patiently, and starts talking.

DOCTOR BELL
What doesn't matter?

MONK
Nothing. It's no use.
Monk is rocking back and forth slightly. He puts his hands on his knees, and is leaning forward, looking at his feet.

DOCTOR BELL
I...I got that. I meant what do you mean by "it"?

MONK
Everything.

DOCTOR BELL
Everything? You said nothing?

MONK
Everything is nothing.

DOCTOR BELL
Everything?

MONK
Nothing.

DOCTOR BELL
I see.

Doctor Bell leans back in his chair, and sighs.

Monk leans back in his chair, and sighs.

MONK
Today is the day...Trudy...

DOCTOR BELL
Ah...the anniversary of her passing.

MONK
Dying. She didn't pass, she died. Passing is having all your friends around you as you say goodbye and breathe out one last time.

DOCTOR BELL
It happened, what, fifteen years ago? That's a long time.

MONK
Fifteen years is a long time. It's a long time to come to here every week, it's a long time to be alone, it's a long time to not... have found the man behind my wife's murder.

DOCTOR BELL
But you found her killer. Wasn't that the man with six fingers?

MONK
Yes. No. I mean, the man behind the man behind my wife's murder.

Monk looks up in despair.

DOCTOR BELL
Adrian, I want you to look at it a different way. In your time as a detective you've made a difference in the lives of many people, and in the short time I've known you, you've made great progress. And while you will always mourn Trudy, what you've accomplished is something to celebrate.

Monk shakes his head and sighs.

MONK
I don't know.

INT. MONK'S APARTMENT - DAY

Monk has a picture of Trudy on the kitchen table. He is staring at it, unblinking.
NATALIE is moving around the living room, packing small items into a box.

NATALIE
Mr. Monk? I have an idea.

Monk looks up, curious.

MONK
Natalie? What are you doing?

NATALIE
Nothing. Just tidying up a little.

Monk leaves the kitchen. He looks at the box Natalie is holding. He looks around the room. Then he looks at Natalie, suspicious.

MONK
Natalie? What's in the box?

Natalie doesn't move. Monk lunges at the box.

MONK (CONT'D)
Natalie! What are you doing?!

Natalie twists away from Monk. He can't reach the box.

NATALIE
It's for your own good, Mr. Monk. If you keep staring at things that remind you of Trudy all day, you'll never get over her.

Monk gets his hand on the box. They struggle over it.

MONK
Maybe I don't want to get over her!

NATALIE
Yes you do. You need to move on!

MONK
I'm fine where I am! Give them back!

NATALIE
No!

There is a knock at the door. The door opens. RANDY steps in, followed by a woman.

RANDY
Hello? Monk?

Natalie and Monk continue bickering.

MONK
Give it back! Give...it...back!

NATALIE
No!...It's for your own good.

Monk looks at Randy. Natalie looks also.

RANDY
Everything okay in here?

Monk yanks the box out of Natalie's hands. Monk and Natalie reply at the same time.

MONK
Yes!

NATALIE
No!

Randy looks confused.

RANDY
Ohh...kay...Sorry to interrupt, but I, my friend, sorry, needs help. I mean, your help! If that's okay.

MRS. CASEY raises a hand in greeting.

MRS. CASEY
Hi.

Natalie shows them in. Mrs. Casey sits on the couch. Randy stands.

RANDY
Were, um, we're kind of next door neighbors. Well, we are next door neighbors, actually, but I'm usually busy, and we have different schedules, so we don't really get, you know, a chance to...

NATALIE
We get the picture. Why don't you come in and tell us what happened.

Mrs. Casey is crying. Natalie passes hear a tissue. Monk is preoccupied with the box.

RANDY
Well, I don't know, exactly. I'll let Mrs. Casey tell you.

Monk puts the box on a table. He takes out items one by one, looks around the room, and puts them back.

MRS. CASEY
It's about my son, Ken. They're saying it was suicide, but I don't believe it.

NATALIE
I'm so sorry. What happened?

MRS. CASEY
He's always been a watcher, you know? So observant. He'd sit there and watch people, and just keep watching them. Just by watching he could tell you so much about someone. It was a gift.

Monk looks over at Mrs. Casey.

MONK
And a curse.

MRS. CASEY
Pardon?

MONK
It's a gift...And a curse.

Monk goes back to putting the items where they belong.

NATALIE
Sorry. He can be like that sometimes. What else happened?

Mrs. Casey gestures for another tissue. Natalie hands her the whole box.

MRS. CASEY
It's my fault! He was a watcher, you know. Trouble talking to others. I didn't want my Ken to be alone for the rest of his life. He's so sweet but just too shy. So I got him some help.

NATALIE
What kind of help?

MRS. CASEY
I sent him to this place. Sunnyland. There was a Doctor there who said he could help us. And I believed him.

Natalie waves at Monk. He doesn't seem to notice.

MRS. CASEY (CONT'D)
They said Doctor Randall worked miracles. Everyone I knew swore by him. And I believed him too. They all have relatives at Sunnyland, and it's really is a nice place.

Natalie clears her throat at Monk. He doesn't seem to hear her.

NATALIE
Mr. Monk?

Monk does not look over. He keeps arranging the items.

MONK
Sunnyland. Sounds nice. Sunny place. Sounds warm.

Natalie scowls.

NATALIE
Mr. Monk!

RANDY
Well, actually, it is kind of warm. I was just down there, and they have a good interior decorator.

Natalie glares at Randy, looks back at Mrs. Casey.

NATALIE
So how did your son die?

MRS. CASEY
That's the thing. They said he overdosed on medication. But he wasn't taking any medication. And he was supposed to be coming home today.

NATALIE
But why do you think he was murdered?

MRS. CASEY
Because he knew something.

NATALIE
What did he know?

MRS. CASEY
He...I can't say. I guess maybe that's why I need your help.

NATALIE
What do you think, Mr. Monk?

Monk looks at a small ledge, and at a picture frame in his hand.

MONK
Cleaned.

NATALIE
He was killed, not cleaned.

MONK
Most people know where to put things because there's a ring of dust where the things are supposed to go. Who ever thought that being clean would be such a problem?

Natalie sighs.

NATALIE
We're talking about Mrs. Casey's son, Ken.

MONK
But I don't have any dust! So how do I know where things are supposed to go? And she's lying, or not telling us something.

Mrs. Casey looks shocked, then angry.

MRS. CASEY
Why would I?

MONK
Because you did it, or you think you're responsible. Either way, you're feeling guilty about something. Where does this go?

NATALIE
Mr. Monk, that picture was right there. Just put it down. What do you mean?

MONK
Where? Here?

Monk holds the picture an inch above the ledge.

MONK (CONT'D)
Or here?

Monk moves the frame an inch.

MONK (CONT'D)
How am I supposed to know where it goes? Most people tell their suspicions right away.

Monk moves his head from side to side. He scans the ledge closely.

MONK (CONT'D)
She didn't.

Monk puts the picture down, shifts it and shifts it back. Natalie grabs her purse; pulls out an eyeliner pencil.

NATALIE
You know what? I have an idea.

Natalie walks over to the ledge, and writes a small "x". She grabs the picture from Monk and puts it on the "x".

NATALIE (CONT'D)
See! Problem solved.

Monk stares at Natalie in disbelief.

MONK
You don't know if that's the right spot!

Monk tries to move the picture frame. Natalie brushes his hand away.

NATALIE
Ah, ah! Haven't you ever heard, Mr. Monk? X marks the spot!

MONK
But how do you know that's the right spot?

NATALIE
Because there's an "x" on it!

Natalie holds up her hands.

NATALIE (CONT'D)
See! Problem solved. Now why don't we let Mrs. Casey finish telling us her story?

Mrs. Casey looks angry. Randy looks uncomfortable. Randy pulls out a phone. He reads a message.

RANDY
Sorry, I got to go. Stottlemeyer wants me to meet up with him right away. Can you take her? I'll meet you there later.

Mr. Monk and the Rubber Room - Teaser

Over the past year, I took a TV writing course as a part of my MFA in Creative Writing through the University of British Columbia. During that course, we studied the art of writing teleplays, and during the course we produced a spec script, and an original pilot spec. A spec script is a TV writer's calling card, as it is what shows the agents and TV execs that you can actually write, and write well. A spec is a script is also based on an existing television show, and the reason for this is that if you can show that you have captured the tone and feel of a show that is not yours, then you can theoretically write for any show.

I don't believe I'll ever be a TV writer, as much as I'd like to be, because family commitments prevent me from trying to climb that ladder. But still, I found I enjoyed writing this form.

What follows is not fan fiction, I want to be clear about that, but is my own original spec script for the show Monk.

INT. SUNNYLAND RETREAT NIGHT

KEN is in his room, madly scribbling in his journal. He is VISIBLY AGITATED, muttering to himself, and sweating. He is sitting at a desk, with one lamp on, and the rest of the room is dark. He hears the SOUND OF FOOTSTEPS near his door, and the jangle of keys in the lock. He rips the page he had been writing on out of his journal, rushes over to the dresser, pushes against it, and slips the page under. The sound of a creak is heard as the door opens, and he whips around, trips and falls on the floor only to see TWO SHADOWS APPEAR. The shadows are still, inches away from Ken's face, now fully bathed in the light from the hall. Ken LOOKS UP.

VOICE (O.S.)
I hear you've become quite the detective.

KEN is motionless with fear. His voice quavers as he speaks.

KEN
I know what you did. I know what you're doing.

A SHADOW steps forward menacingly.

VOICE (O.S.)
And what do you think you know?

KEN
You won't get away with it.

The light illuminating Ken's face is replaced by shadow.

VOICE (O.S.)
And who are you going to tell? Where are you going to go?

KEN starts shaking. His voice is almost a whisper.

KEN
Please. I'm sorry. I won't tell.

VOICE (O.S.)
That's right. You won't.

FADE TO BLACK

The Great McMurty (Part III)

Here is the third of three parts of my short story The Great McMurty.

I met McMurty again as night began to fall upon his time with us. That is, he was an inch shy of dead. It was by purest accident. I was in Toronto, fresh in the city by about a year when I saw him walking down a sidewalk.

I stopped him, offered to buy him a drink, and talk of old times, but he didn't seem interested. How, or why he'd ended up there, I'll never know.

Even as old as he was, just over a hundred then, he towered over me, and had that presence which was unmistakable. Unforgettable.

I still see it now. The middle of the night, and his house on fire, McMurty kneeling in the street, rocking back in forth as the light of flames danced across his face.

What I saw terrified me, I’ll tell you straight. There was nothing like it in this world, seen or imagined that I’ve ever come across to equal the like.

The next day he had disappeared, his family with him, never to pass through that town again.

* * *

As night fell, McMurty arrived back home, burst through the door, and with a manic energy he picked up Gladys and swung her around until she yelled at him to stop. He barked out a laugh and set her on the ground.

You can guess what news I’ve got! No don’t guess, I’ll tell you. Lead hand!” he said, smiling and swaggering momentarily. Gladys jumped up and hugged him laughing. Setting her down again, he walked over to the kitchen, looked around, and came back. “Where’d Alice go?"”

Gladys shrugged and brought a dish out of the wood stove, setting it carefully on the table. “She’s at the Reverend’s house again. In the morning while you were laying like a lump, she she had to go help him with something."

"Any idea what for?” McMurty asked, and began dishing food out onto the plates his daughter had set.

Gladys shrugged.

Later, McMurty sat at the table, smoking a pipe after his dinner. He was relaxed and happy that way. Pretty soon and it would be time to head out to work for the long summer months, when he could only dream of the luxuries he was enjoying right then.

"Gladys, some day you’ve got to show me how you make those pastries. By God if I made some of those up north while I was working, I could earn a small fortune.”

Gladys chucked a dish towel at him from where she stood by the wash basin. “I’d show you and you’d as likely forget, and within the half minute you stopped paying attention.”

McMurty replied with a smile, and a long draw on the pipe.

Outside the door, loud noises could be heard. Voices. Arguing. McMurty stood up as footsteps could be heard rushing up to the door. He braced himself to call out an answer to a knock, but the door just opened and in stepped the Reverend and his wife.

"Good evening Reverend," McMurty said to his new guests. "Can I help you with something?"

"Yes you can. Mrs. Thomas, it seems, has just given birth."

"What about it?" McMurty asked.

"It seems the newborn has the loveliest red hair you ever saw."

McMurty paled hearing those words, and he stood very still. "I...There must be a mistake, I'm sure of it."

"Don't give me any of that! You know exactly who the father is!”

"So why did you come here like this?" McMurty said. "Why'd you have to come in where my daughter could hear you?"

"I didn't come to curse you. I came to tell you that John Thomas knows. And he's beating his wife right now!"

McMurty looked over at his daughter, who was studiously avoiding his gaze.

"This is on you, McMurty."

McMurty stood still for a moment. Then, without a word, he ran out of the house, not looking back.

When McMurty arrived at the Thomas household, he stepped into the living room, and saw Mrs. Thomas, still half undressed in the manner of a woman giving birth. Her face was battered, and a large gash stood plainly out on her forehead. She wasn't moving.

McMurty looked around. No baby, no husband, and a sudden dread feeling creeping up on him. He ran out, heading back home as fast as his legs could carry him.

As he approached his house, McMurty's heart began to sink, he could see the smoke and flames billowing out of the windows. With an anguished cry, he sprinted madly over the last few hundred yards, passing Alice, who sat still on the dirt of the road in front of the house, a newborn child in her arms.

On the porch outside the house was John, the Reverend and his wife, all lying as if dead. John and the Reverend both had shotguns, and had wounds caused by the others gun. The Reverend's wife looked like she had shared her husband's fate.

Inside, he could see the flames starting to climb the walls. On the floor of the main room, he saw Gladys, Barely pausing to breathe, McMurty ran to his daughter, who looked up at him. He reached down toward her, but a piercing cry from the back room stopped him.

"Gracy!," Gladys said.

McMurty was torn with indecision.

"Save her, please!" Gladys begged.

McMurty ran into the back room, and found Gracy in her small crib. He picked her up, turned, but was forced to stop as the doorway collapsed in on itself.

McMurty started to panic. The heat was becoming unbearable. He tucked Gracy carfeully in his arms, then tilted his bulk towards the outer wall.

The wall splintered like dry twigs as he burst through. He ran around to the front, only to see the roof collapse inwards, showering sparks and debris everywhere.

Looking behind him, McMurty saw Alice, head down, trying to console the newborn in her arms. McMurty staggered over, and dropped to his knees beside her.

"How did this happen?" Alice asked.

A flash of reprieve flashed over McMurty's face for just a moment, quickly replaced by a look of crushing grief.

"God knows," McMurty said. "God knows."

The Great McMurty (Part II)

Here is the second of three parts of my short story The Great McMurty.

When I think of a way to describe McMurty, saint is about the only word that comes to mind. A big, tall, red-headed, protestant saint. I know there aren’t many protestants in heaven, but I’m sure the Lord made an exception for McMurty.

You’d always see McMurty about town, helping people out. It was easy to spot him, as he was the only one so big, and the only one with hair the colour of fire. I was told when I was much younger that he used to go around working on people’s houses during the winter. Especially the houses of poorer families whose men made so little that they even had to work in the winter to make enough to feed the family. McMurty, with his size and strength, made enough each summer on the railroad that his family didn’t have to worry like most. But as they say, the idle hands are the devil’s playing ground, and McMurty was pretty determined not to stay idle. So it was that he fixed up houses and fences and barns, for which I am sure he was greatly appreciated.

* * *

McMurty staggered, tipping slowly to his left like a great tanker with too much leeward heel, and it was all his Gladys could do to keep him from crushing her. Visibly pushing into him, she appeared to have some effect as the great ship McMurty righted itself and kept moving forward in an erratic way. McMurty was a definite giant standing next to his elfin daughter, who at five foot four, stood nearly two feet shorter than him, and weighed almost two hundred pounds less.

"S'ok, I'll be fine darlin'!" He said, his voice loud and slurred. "Just wait till we get home. We, we'll sing a song to Mother. Together! Ha! Wouldn't that've gotten her britches tied in a knot!" McMurty covered his mouth partially as he let out a loud belch, and started singing to himself.

Gladys kept pace beside him, almost two steps to his drunken one, panting and slightly out of breath, looking with new found dread at the steep hill that lay before them, and the only way back home.

"Hey looka there!. It's Alice!" McMurty looked up the hill and saw a small shape quickly gaining size as it ran down the hill towards them. McMurty cupped his hands in front of his face and yelled. "Heya there sweetie! I have something! I have a story to tell. And I have song for your mother. Gladys is going to sing it with me!" McMurty smiled at the speeding daughter, who wasn't close enough for McMurty and daughter to hear what she was yelling.

"You sonofabitch! You got drunk again! I knew it! I knew it when I sent Gladys out to haul your sorry self home. God help me you lout. Getting drunk like some good for nothing bum!" Alice kept coming at full tilt, her arms waving, and a pan shaped object in one hand. Her face alone looking fierce enough to send any man who didn't know her from drunk to sober in a quick like fashion.

McMurty just smiled. He had no idea what she was saying, but he didn't need to. Even in his state he could guess what she was about. He beamed at his oncoming wife and as loud as he possibly could, began singing a halfway decent, but drunken lilt. As he started singing, Gladys sat down on the ground beside him, not noticing the dampness that had started to form as it was by then close to dawn, and she put her face in her hands. She started to shake, laughing.

"...the only one for me is thee..." McMurty's song started being overpowered by Alice who had gotten to within a few feet of him. A moment later, his song ended in laughter as Alice began hitting him about the arm with her pan. Not much taller than her sister, she had to reach up to hit that far, not that it had much of an effect. His arm was as thick as a log, and McMurty's drunkenness made him not very susceptible to pain.

"What you doing down there, huh? Hey beautiful? Why you hitting me?" McMurty smiled, staggering slightly as one of Alice's blows connected well. Soon, however, she appeared spent, and slumped to the ground next to her sister. By this time, Gladys had taken her head out of her hands, and you could see the tears on her face, and the heavy breathing one gets after a fit of giggles.

Alice looked at her sister, who began laughing again, all of a sudden, and was rolling around, thumping her hand on the round. Then Alice looked back at her father, who was grinning at her. She glared at them both.

"You thinks it's funny? The two of you, in cahoots like always. I knew it. Well just you wait until one day when I'm not around, and then who'll take care of you?" Alice crossed her arms, and locked her face in a defiant scowl. As angry as she appeared to be, she couldn't help but let out a squeak as McMurty bent down and picked her up in what seemed the span of a heart beat.

"C'mon now love. You know that'll never be. I'll always have you to take care of me." He kissed her, his big wet lips leaving a damp mark on her cheek, and he let her down. "Now if you don't mind, I have an appointment with a pillow."

McMurty walked off with determination, though it still took the efforts of Gladys and Alice to make sure he got up the hill in one piece.

Three hours after morning had passed, McMurty finally awoke, but did so with regret and more than a little pain. Holding his head in both his hands, he slowly rose out of his bed, and sat hunched on the side for another ten minutes. When it seemed to him that the room was going to stop dancing around him, he stood up, and then noticed he was still fully dressed, just as he had been the day before. A quick sniff and a visual check to make sure nothing untoward had dried upon him in the night, and McMurty shrugged off changing until later. Right now he was hungry, thirsty, and needed something to settle his nerves.

As McMurty walked out of the bedroom and into the main room, he could see right away that his nerves were not going to get settled anytime soon. In her chair in the farthest corner of the room, right beside the door, his beloved eldest daughter sat looking at him in her distinct, not-happy way. He smiled his biggest, warmest smile, and walked over to her.

Good morning!” McMurty pulled a chair from the table near the wood stove, and sat down facing his her. “I’ll admit I’m not at my best just yet. I don’t know if I got enough sleep, but I figure a little breakfast and I’ll be up and away in no time.” He scratched his belly absently as he spoke.

Not one week.” She said. Her foot tapped on the floor, quickly and steadily. “Not one week?”

Until what?” McMurty asked. “Left? Until...something?” He raised his hands in a confused gesture, but then thrust his arm upwards, index finger pointed out, and a feigned look of understanding on his face. “Oh! Yes! The Reverend’s birthday, right?” he slapped his hands on his knees and rocked back a little in his chair, smiling. “So good you reminded me. And to think I almost forgot. Why that would really have been…,” McMurty was cut off as Alice jumped out of her chair. Her apparent anger was enough to take the easy smile off of his face, and cause him to pale a little.

You know what I’m damn well talking about. Don’t go Reverend’s birthday-ing me, you hear? I’m talking about you coming home last night, again, without a sober bone in your body.” She walked over to his chair and glared at him. Even though he was sitting, she was only slightly taller than eye level with him. “I’m talking about having to send Gladys to get you home before you pass out in the street and make us a laughingstock again.”

"Oh Lord almighty. Again. That. Again. It only happened once, years ago. Once! I think you’ve whipped me with it so many times that you’ve about worn it out!” McMurty scratched his chin and looked into her eyes. Even though he was sitting and she standing, they were looking eye to eye. “Don’t worry. I’m not going to make you a laughingstock. I was just having a few drinks with the boys. Work bosses will be coming through here soon, and I have to keep good with them. You know that.”

McMurty took his daughter's arm and drew her to him, then picked her up and sat her on his lap. “Listen. I have to go to town in a bit. I might be finding out today if I’ll be in for the lead hand this year. Nicholson got hurt bad this winter and won’t be coming back, he says. So I figure, as some do, that I should be good to take his place. And it means some more money! A whole lot!” McMurty wrapped his arms around her and rocked her back and forth, slowly.

Alice’s angry resolve melted a little at this. Her face softened, and she leaned her head back against his shoulder.

"Sometimes I get to thinking it might have been better if we’d stayed back east, and you could have worked there with your uncles. Then we wouldn’t have to worry year after year," Alice said.

McMurty quickly, but gently, lifted her off his lap and onto the floor, stood up, and walked into the bedroom.

"I’m just worried is all I’m saying.” Alice called out toward the bedroom.

McMurty stuck his head out the doorway and looked at her unsmiling. “I told you.” His head disappeared back into the room, followed by the thump of the clothes chest lid banging onto the wall. “I won’t work in the mines! I’m too big and I promised your mother that I wouldn’t. And I won’t!"

"I'm not saying that," Alice said.

"I made a promise to myself, and to your mother, and if I go back, then what good is that promise?” A slam of the trunk lid was followed by McMurty leaving the room, dressed in a clean shirt.

“I’ll be back later today. Don’t worry. I won’t go drinking tonight. I’ll be back for some sweet meat pie!” McMurty grinned and rubbed his stomach at that, making Alice swat him on the arm.

Well we’ll see if I’ll be leaving any for you or whether I’ll let the dogs sup on it for a change.” She tried to look crossly at him, but his standing with his arms held out like Jesus on the cross, and the big stupid grin on her face made her laugh in spite of herself. “Oh, go on. Just so long as you're back while the pie's still warm,” she said, letting herself become wrapped in his hug. With that, McMurty was off.