Mr. Monk and the Rubber Room - Act 3, Part 1

Over the past year, I took a TV writing course as a part of my MFA in Creative Writing through the University of British Columbia. During that course, we studied the art of writing teleplays, and during the course we produced a spec script, and an original pilot spec. A spec script is a TV writer's calling card, as it is what shows the agents and TV execs that you can actually write, and write well. A spec is a script is also based on an existing television show, and the reason for this is that if you can show that you have captured the tone and feel of a show that is not yours, then you can theoretically write for any show.

I don't believe I'll ever be a TV writer, as much as I'd like to be, because family commitments prevent me from trying to climb that ladder. But still, I found I enjoyed writing this form.

What follows is not fan fiction, I want to be clear about that, but is my own original spec script for the show Monk.

ACT THREE

EXT. SAN FRANCISCO - UNKNOWN STREET - NIGHT

Natalie is driving along a city street, looking for Monk.

NATALIE
Mr. Monk? Mr. Monk?

She calls out his name continuously as she drives.

INT. POLICE STATION - MOMENTS LATER

Captain Stottlemeyer is briefing a group of police officers. Randy is with him.

STOTTLEMEYER
Now we all what Monk looks like, and how he his. Keep an eye out for odd behavior. Canvass people in your areas and see what you can turn up.

The officer start to move off, when Stottlemeyer stops them.

STOTTLEMEYER (CONT'D)
And remember! We believe he may be disturbed, and not himself, so be careful!

RANDY
Captain, what should we do?

STOTTLEMEYER
Well Randy, I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

INT. SUNNYLAND PATIENT'S ROOM - MORNING

A light turns on and Monk's eyes open. The light is too bright, so he shades his eyes as he sits up in his bed.

NURSE AKIKO (O.S.)
Rise and shine Mr. Johnson.

The Japanese Nurse walks into view, in front of Monk. Monk isn't looking up at her yet. He's holding his head in his hands.

MONK
Mr. Johnson? Why do you all keep calling me that? My name is...

Monk looks up and recognizes the nurse.

MONK (CONT'D)
You!

NURSE AKIKO
Because that's your name, Mr. Johnson. That's why you're here. So we can help you.

Monk looks panicked.

MONK
You're not trying to help me! You're in on this!

Monk starts to stand up, but the nurse pushes him back on the bed.

MONK (CONT'D)
(Screaming)
Help! Help! Somebody!

Monk starts to get up again, and the nurse pushes him back, but he struggles with her.

NURSE AKIKO
Help me hold him down!

An orderly runs into the room and grabs Monk, pinning his arms behind his back. The nurse pulls a needle out of her pocket and jabs it into Monk.

MONK
No! Don't! Not that...

Monk looks woozy, but doesn't fall unconscious.

MONK (CONT'D)
This is not the same thing that you...
(mumbles)
Have you seen Natalie? My sandwich has a vacuum cleaner.

Monk slumps down on his bed. Not unconscious, but not in control. He has been drugged.

INT. SUNNYLAND DOCTOR RANDALL'S OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER

Doctor Randall is sitting at his desk, working on some paper work. Nurse Akiko walks into the room, angry.

NURSE AKIKO
We have to do something about him. We can't keep him forever.

Doctor Randall looks up at her, and takes his reading glass off.

DOCTOR RANDALL
Well we can't kill him.

NURSE AKIKO
Why not?

DOCTOR RANDALL
Are you kidding? He's too recognizable!

NURSE AKIKO
How? I've never heard of him.

DOCTOR RANDALL
Maybe you haven't but half the city has. If he turned up dead somewhere, we'd have the cops at our door before we could blink. As it is, we're under too much scrutiny now. We can't take chances.

NURSE AKIKO
If he's as famous as you say, then somebody inside is going to recognize him sooner or later. What do you want me to do?

DOCTOR RANDALL
Well...I don't know. We don't really have the facilities to keep him isolated. We can only seal off the one wing. Maybe...maybe we could distract him? I was doing a little research, and he's a complete basket case. He's afraid of everything.
(Beat)
Maybe we could play that up.

Nurse Akiko smiles, understanding.

NURSE AKIKO
Make him crazy for real. So the others will want to stay away from him.

DOCTOR RANDALL
Then when people have forgotten about him, he'll just disappear.

EXT. CITY PARK

ANGLE ON
Monk's face, close up. He's smiling dreamily. The camera shifts back away from Monk, and he is flying, or floating prone in the air. His arms are out to the side. He seems happy, then he looks down. He screams.

MONK
Ahhhh!

The Monk is standing on the ground. He is patting himself, checking what happened, looking over himself for signs of dirt. Monk looks up and sees a Merry-Go-Round, it is slowly spinning.

MONK (CONT'D)
(Softly, smiling)
A merry go round.

Monk walks up and touches his finger to each pole as it slowly passes. Then the merry go round speeds up. Monk touches the poles faster and faster as they pass him. Soon the merry go round is spinning so fast that Monk can't keep up, and he's panicking.

Then TRUDY calls out to him

TRUDY (O.S.)
Adrian?

Monk turns his head and sees Trudy. His hands are still trying touch the poles.

MONK
Trudy?

TRUDY
You have to get on Adrian.

MONK
Get on? How? It's going too fast!

TRUDY
You have to see from the inside out.

MONK
Inside out? What does that even mean?

TRUDY
Adrian. Please. Get on.

Monk is at a loss for words. He looks at the rapidly spinning merry go round. He looks back at Trudy.

Then, Monk is on. He is surprised. He had not moved. But he is now on the merry go round. The camera is close up on his face. The world behind him is spinning rapidly. The camera moves away. Monk is holding on for dear life.

MONK
Okay! What do I do now?

Monk looks around. He doesn't see Trudy.

MONK (CONT'D)
Trudy? Trudy!
(Beat)
Where are you?

VOICE (O.S.)
I'm right here!

Monk looks around. He is still on the merry go round. It is still spinning.

MONK
Where? I can't see you!

VOICE (O.S.)
Open your eyes!

MONK
They are open! Where are you?

VOICE (O.S.)
Open your eyes!

INT. SUNNYLAND PATIENT'S ROOM

Nurse Rashid is kneeling over Monk. He is on the floor. She holds his head up. Monk opens his eyes.

MONK
Trudy?

NURSE RASHID
Mr. Johnson. Are you all right?

Monk is baffled. His head jerks. He looks all around.

MONK
I...I was...
Nurse Rashid picks up his chart. She looks confused.

NURSE RASHID
There must have been a mix up in your meds. I don't see...

Monk shakes his head. He waves his arm back and forth.

MONK
Needle!...there was a needle!...I don't even know if it was clean! Do you have a wipe? I need a wipe. Or some soap. Or a knife. Maybe I can cut the flesh around it, and you can cauterize it. Do you have a lighter, or a blowtorch? A blowtorch would work. That's probably the best thing.

Nurse Rashid looks at him strangely.

NURSE RASHID
Did you say needle?

Monk nods his head.

MONK
Yes. The nurse. Other...other nurse. The, um...

Monk waves his hand in front of his face in a circle. Nurse Rashid copies this motion.

NURSE RASHID
(Confused)
The mystery nurse?

Monk shakes his head and circles his hand in front of his face some more.

NURSE RASHID (CONT'D)
Wax on, wax off?

Monk looks confused.

MONK
She...the...different one..

NURSE RASHID
Different one? You mean Nurse Akiko? The word is "Japanese" Mr. Johnson.
(Angrily)
And I have to tell you, that's a pretty rude thing to say. We don't accept racism here at Sunnyland.

Monk looks mortified.

MONK
What!? No! I, I meant...

Nurse Rashid smiles, and laughs.

NURSE RASHID
Don't worry. I'm just pushing your buttons. Still, I think there was a mix up. I'll look into it.

Nurse Rashid gets up to leave.

MONK
Wait? Where are you going?

NURSE RASHID
Don't worry Mr. Johnson. You'll be fine. Just go and get some lunch.

MONK
Lunch? What time is it?

NURSE RASHID
Lunch time!

In Love

His friend said "You're in love."

"I’m really not" he replied.
"I’m just kind of,
you know,
I got this
hope, maybe,
but I’m not in love.
No way, man.
I'd know, you know?
Because love, it's like
physics,
action, and reaction"

"I know," the friend said.

He shrugged.
"If she told me off
right now
it would hurt
sure,
a little but not that badly
not like so many other times."

"Such as?" His friend asked.

"This one time,
laying there, you know,
afterwards.
The night was soft,
not hot or cold,
the breeze light,
faint music,
barely heard through the door.
It was just one of those moments,
those perfect moments."

"And?"

"She turned to me,
you know
looking at me for just a moment,
kind of a blank expression,
and tells me she found someone else,
that next week
she'd be moving in with him."

"That must have hurt," the friend said.

"It did," I said.
"But that's why it was good.
That’s how I know this ain’t love
because if she told me off,
right here,
right now,
it wouldn’t hurt,
not that much really,
not like that other time.
This,
this wouldn’t be anything."

Mr. Monk and the Rubber Room - Act 2, Part 2

Over the past year, I took a TV writing course as a part of my MFA in Creative Writing through the University of British Columbia. During that course, we studied the art of writing teleplays, and during the course we produced a spec script, and an original pilot spec. A spec script is a TV writer's calling card, as it is what shows the agents and TV execs that you can actually write, and write well. A spec is a script is also based on an existing television show, and the reason for this is that if you can show that you have captured the tone and feel of a show that is not yours, then you can theoretically write for any show.

I don't believe I'll ever be a TV writer, as much as I'd like to be, because family commitments prevent me from trying to climb that ladder. But still, I found I enjoyed writing this form.

What follows is not fan fiction, I want to be clear about that, but is my own original spec script for the show Monk.

INT. SUNNYLAND COMMON ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Monk is standing next to the orderly who is guarding the exit.

MONK
Hi...Um...Hello.
(Beat)
Sir. I have to go through...that door.

Monk points.

ORDERLY
Sorry, but you can't do that.

MONK
Actually, I can...

Monk makes a moving aside motion with his hand.

MONK (CONT'D)
You just have to step out of my way.

The Orderly gets an angry look on his face.

ORDERLY
Are you threatening me?

Monk steps back, hands up in a placating gesture.

MONK
No! No. Not threatening.
(Laughs nervously)
Me threatening you? No, absolutely not. You're, you're very...large.

ORDERLY
I think you should go eat your food.

MONK
Well, that's the thing, you see. There's been a mistake. I'm not supposed to be here. A mix up. You see, my name's Adrian Monk, and I'm...I'm not supposed to be here. So if you wouldn't mind.

Monk makes another move aside gesture with his hand.

MONK (CONT'D)
I'll just be on my way.

The Orderly stares hard at Monk, unblinkingly.

MONK (CONT'D)
Or...or not. Food sounds pretty good.

Monk walks away.

INT. MONK'S APARTMENT - LATER

Natalie and Randy walk in the door.

NATALIE
Mr. Monk? Are you here? Hello?

Randy walks past her and looks around.

RANDY
He's not here.

NATALIE
Where else would he go?

RANDY
Doctor Bell, maybe?

CAPTAIN STOTTLEMEYER walks through the door.

STOTTLEMEYER
Is he here?

NATALIE
Captain Stottlemeyer! Thank god you're here.

Randy walks back from the hallway.

RANDY
He's not here.

STOTTLEMEYER
Tell me again what happened?

NATALIE
We were at the Sunnyland Retreat?

STOTTLEMEYER
Retreat?

NATALIE
It's, uh, a place where...

RANDY
It's a loony bin.

Natalie flashes Randy a look.

RANDY (CONT'D)
What? It is.

STOTTLEMEYER
Can you hurry it up?

NATALIE
We were there because a friend of Randy...

RANDY
Neighbor, actually.

NATALIE
Whatever. Neighbor. Her son committed suicide, but she thinks he was murdered.

STOTTLEMEYER
Okay. I remember hearing about that. The medical examiner ruled that it was a suicide. What id Monk say?

NATALIE
I don't know! There were these cranky old women, and then I was thrown out by the security guard.

STOTTLEMEYER
Thrown out? What did you do?

NATALIE
Nothing! I was trying to get to Monk.

STOTTLEMEYER
Maybe he's still there.

RANDY
I saw the tapes.

STOTTLEMEYER
Pardon?

RANDY
The tapes. The, uh, security tapes. Monk left out the side door.

STOTTLEMEYER
Are you sure he didn't just go for a walk?

NATALIE
Mr. Monk?

STOTTLEMEYER
Yeah, you're right. Something's going on. I'll put out an APB. In the meantime, let's go to Sunnyland and start canvassing the area around there.

All three leave the apartment.

INT. SUNNYLAND COMMON ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Monk sits down at a table with Isaac. There is an extra tray of food. Isaac points to it.

ISAAC
I got you something to eat. Hope you don't mind!

Monk looks down at his food. He doesn't like what he sees.

MONK
What is it?

ISAAC
It's dinner! Eat up.

MONK
I know that's what you call it, but what is it?

ISAAC
Dinner. Food.

MONK
Well, that's one opinion.

Monk looks at the food with distaste. It's a mishmash of unidentifiable vegetables, meats and a green-brown gravy.

MONK (CONT'D)
You know, it's really not natural.

ISAAC
What's not natural?

MONK
Your food, like that. It didn't grow that way.

ISAAC
No. But it tastes good this way!

MONK
You should try, you know, separating it. Then eating. Trust me. You'll thank me for it later.

ISAAC
Okay... Say! What happened to your head?

MONK
Someone hit me over the head.

ISAAC
What did you do?

MONK
Did you know Ken Casey? He was a patient here.

ISAAC
Ken? Sure! He was a great guy. He was my meal buddy. We ate together pretty much every day.

MONK
Really? Did he ever seem agitated? Did he seem violent or anti-social?

ISAAC
Ken? No way! I mean, anti-social, a little. But not in a bad way. He was just kind of shy, you know. A quiet guy.

MONK
Do you know why he was here?

ISAAC
Same reason most of us are here.

MONK
Which is?

ISAAC
(Smiling)
Beats me! Did you know Ken?

MONK
No. I knew his mother. Actually that's why I'm here?
Isaac smiles, looking very interested.

ISAAC
Oh, you bad boy! Do tell!

MONK
No! No..not like that.

Monk waves his hands in front of his face dismissively.

MONK (CONT'D)
She hired me. I'm a private detective. I used to be a police officer, actually...well never mind. Anyways, she suspected that Ken's death wasn't a suicide.

ISAAC
It wasn't?

Monk leans forward.

MONK
No.
(Whispering)
He was murdered.

Isaac gasps, holds his hands to his mouth.

ISAAC
No! Do you know who killed him?

MONK
I think so. I know he found something out. I read it on a letter he wrote.

ISAAC
What did he find out?

MONK
I don't know! It just said that he learned about something that he was going to take to the police.

There is a commotion in the room. Two patients start fighting, and other patients start gathering around them, cheering them on.

MONK (CONT'D)
What is this? A schoolyard?

Monk sees the Orderly by the door move to break up the fight.

MONK (CONT'D)
It's been nice speaking to you. I'd better go.

Monk hustles over to the door and opens it. He passes through and runs into the Japanese Nurse. Her name tag says Nurse Akiko.

NURSE AKIKO
And where are you going?

Monk points past her.

MONK
Uh, that way. Out.

NURSE AKIKO
No you're not.

MONK
Actually, I am. You see, there's been a big mistake. There's something going on. There was a murder, and I have to get to the police.

NURSE AKIKO
Really?

Nurse Akiko smiles at Monk calmly for a moment, then starts to scream hysterically.

NURSE AKIKO (CONT'D)
Help! Help! He's trying to rape me!

MONK
(Panicking)
What? No I'm not!

Monk turns around as two large orderlies come through the door and tackle him.

NURSE AKIKO
Hold him down!

They pin Monk to the floor. The nurse runs off for a moment then comes back with a needle. While Monk struggles, she injects him. Monk loses consciousness.

Unequivocal

On the phone
a message

"Please don’t call again."

In the inbox
an e-mail

"Please do not send any more e-mails."

In the mail
a letter

"Return to sender."

It's not a problem
not really
every request is reasonable
easy to do, in fact.

The problem,
is how to ask
"why?"

Mr. Monk and the Rubber Room - Act 2, Part 1

Over the past year, I took a TV writing course as a part of my MFA in Creative Writing through the University of British Columbia. During that course, we studied the art of writing teleplays, and during the course we produced a spec script, and an original pilot spec. A spec script is a TV writer's calling card, as it is what shows the agents and TV execs that you can actually write, and write well. A spec is a script is also based on an existing television show, and the reason for this is that if you can show that you have captured the tone and feel of a show that is not yours, then you can theoretically write for any show.

I don't believe I'll ever be a TV writer, as much as I'd like to be, because family commitments prevent me from trying to climb that ladder. But still, I found I enjoyed writing this form.

What follows is not fan fiction, I want to be clear about that, but is my own original spec script for the show Monk.

ACT TWO

INT. SUNNYLAND FOYER - LATER

Natalie is walking through the foyer, holding her hand up to her face, trying to hide as she passes the gaggle of elderly women who are waiting impatiently in the lobby. Several glare at Natalie as she walks past.

When Natalie reaches the elevator, a guard stops her.

GUARD
I'm sorry ma'am, but you can't go up there without an escort.

NATALIE
But my boss, Mr. Monk, he just went up there. I'm his assistant.

GUARD
I'm sorry, but you can't go alone.

NATALIE
Can't you take me?

GUARD
No ma'am, I can't leave my post. If you'll just have a seat, I'm sure the doctor will be around shortly.

Natalie looks disconcerted, but she does as asked. After Natalie sits down, the elevator opens and a Japanese nurse walks into the lobby. A small, dark stain is visible on the sleeve of her uniform, and around her armpit. She looks slightly harried.

NATALIE
(to the nurse)
Excuse me! Excuse me!

The nurse stops and looks at Natalie, confused.

NURSE
Yes?

NATALIE
Have you seen Doctor Randall? He's with my boss and I need to get to him.

The nurse hesitates a moment.

NURSE
Doctor Randall is busy right now. Sorry, but I have to take care of something.

The nurse walks away. Natalie watches as she approaches the group of old women.

OLD WOMAN #1
What's been keeping you!

OLD WOMAN #2
You know how long we've been waiting here!

The nurse makes a calming gesture.

NURSE
Sorry. We have to reschedule! Doctor Randall is indisposed.

OLD WOMAN #1
Reschedule! Where is he!

The nurse signals to the guard, who walks away from his post. When the guard passes her, Natalie walks quickly over to the elevator. She pushes the button and waits. The doors open, she enters, turns around, and sees a different guard.

GUARD #2
And where are you going?

NATALIE
I...uh...

GUARD #2
Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to leave the building.

NATALIE
But Mr. Monk! He's...

GUARD #2
This way please, ma'am.

The Guard escorts Natalie past the old women, who are still arguing with the nurse, and out the front door.

INT. SUNNYLAND PATIENT'S ROOM - LATER

We see from Monk's POV as Monk's eyes open. His vision is very blurry. He sees a woman who vaguely resembles Natalie.

MONK
(Dry, croaking voice)
Natalie? What happened?

Monk holds his head and groans.

MONK (CONT'D)
Ken didn't commit suicide. He was murdered.

Monk looks at his hand.

MONK (CONT'D)
Blood!

Monk gasps.

MONK (CONT'D)
Wipe! I need a wipe!

No longer in Monk's POV, Monk looks up and sees a nurse. Her name tag says NURSE RASHID.

MONK (CONT'D)
You're not Natalie. Where's Natalie? What happened?

NURSE RASHID
It seems you hurt yourself, Mr. Johnson.

The Nurse holds up a wet cloth.

NURSE RASHID
Let me take a look at it.

MONK
Who's Mr. Johnson? My name is Adrian Monk. You know, the famous detective?

Nurse Rashid cleans Monk's wound.

NURSE RASHID
Of course you are, Mr. Johnson.
(Beat)
It looks like you cut your scalp. It bled a lot, but you'll be fine.

Monk notices he is wearing a patient's gown.

MONK
Where are my clothes?

NURSE RASHID
I think you dirtied them during your accident.

MONK
Accident? What accident?

Nurse Rashid grabs a clipboard.

NURSE RASHID
It says on your chart that you slipped and hit your head. If you want, I can call Doctor Randall over to speak with you.

Monk's eyes flash, remembering.

MONK
Doctor Randall! Now I remember. He's the guy!

NURSE RASHID
The guy?

Monk leans forward.

MONK
(Quietly)
The murderer.

NURSE RASHID
Excuse me?

MONK
He murdered Ken Casey. It wasn't a suicide.

Nurse Rashid gives Monk a skeptical look. She points at Monk's injury.

NURSE RASHID
How about we put a bandage on that, shall we?

EXT. SUNNYLAND RETREAT - LATER

Natalie is outside the front doors, visibly upset. Randy appears.

RANDY
Natalie! You're still here?

NATALIE
Randy! Thank God you're here. They kicked me out.

RANDY
Kicked you out?

NATALIE
You have to help me. Mr. Monk is still inside. He's been there for hours.

Randy and Natalie walk inside.

INT. SUNNYLAND FOYER - MOMENTS LATER

As Randy and Natalie walk into the foyer, Doctor Randall is exiting the elevator.

NATALIE
Doctor Randall!

DOCTOR RANDALL
Oh! Yes...Miss?...

NATALIE
Natalie. I'm Mr. Monk's assistant. Do you know where he is? I've been waiting for hours!

Doctor Randall seems confused.

DOCTOR RANDALL
That's strange. He left quite a while ago?

NATALIE
That's impossible. I've been here the whole time. I would have seen him.

RANDY
Are you sure he left?

DOCTOR RANDALL
(to the Guard)
Can you come here for a second?

GUARD
Sir?

DOCTOR RANDALL
Did you see Mr. Monk leave? He's a short fellow. Dark, curly hair. Beige suit.

GUARD
Yes sir. A few hours ago, actually.

Natalie is angry. She is shaking her head.

NATALIE
Nuh, uh. I'd have seen him. There's no way he left without me.

GUARD
He went out the side exit, I think over there.

RANDY
Are you sure?

GUARD
Absolutely. We've got cameras on the exits. I can show you, if you'd like.

RANDY
Please.

Randy leaves with the guard.

DOCTOR RANDALL
Well, there we are, then. Mystery solved! He looked a little out of sorts when I spoke with him. Perhaps he want home to rest.

NATALIE
Mr. Monk wouldn't do that.

DOCTOR RANDALL
What can I say? People are full of surprises. I'm sure he'll turn up.

Doctor Randall leaves. Standing alone, Natalie looks worried.

NATALIE
Mr. Monk?

INT. SUNNYLAND PATIENT'S ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Monk is sitting alone, on a bed. His head is bandaged, and he is adjusting it. The bandage is on a slant, and he is trying to make it level. The door to his room opens. ISSAC looks in.

ISSAC
Hey there, new guy?

MONK
Can...can I help you?

ISSAC
I'm Isaac. You're neighbor. What's your name?

MONK
Monk. Adrian Monk.

ISSAC
Really, that's not what it says on your door. Is this your room?

MONK
No. It's not my room. It's not my anything. I'm not supposed to be here.

ISSAC
Where are you supposed to be?

MONK
Not here.

ISSAC
I know where I'm supposed to be.

MONK
Good for you.

ISAAC
You want to know where that is?

MONK
Not really.

ISAAC
Dinner! It's dinner time! Want to go?

MONK
The only place I want to go is out of here. You know how I can do that?

ISAAC
Sure! I know the way.

Monk's head snaps up, surprised.

MONK
You do?

ISAAC
You bet! Come on, I'll show you!

Monk gets up and follows Isaac out into the hallway.

MONK
Are you sure you know the way out of here?

ISAAC
Of course I do!

INT. SUNNYLAND COMMON ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Monk and Isaac enter into a large common room. There are numerous patients milling about. Three large orderlies stand watch around the periphery of the room. There is a TV on in the far corner showing the local news. Patients are lining up at a counter, waiting to be served trays of food.

MONK
So...so how do I get out? Where's the exit?

Isaac points to a door guarded by an orderly.

ISAAC
There!

MONK
But there's someone there! And he's huge!

ISAAC
You bet! And even if you get past him, they have cameras throughout the halls, which means that security would see you leaving!

Monk is angry.

MONK
You lied!

Isaac is indignant.

ISAAC
No I didn't! You wanted to know the way out, and that's the way out. So you ready to eat?

MONK
Eat?

EXT. SUNNYLAND RETREAT - MOMENTS LATER

Randy returns, and walks up to Natalie.

RANDY
They're right. He left.

NATALIE
Are you sure?

RANDY
I saw the tapes myself. He went out the side door.

NATALIE
I can't believe it!

RANDY
Neither can I.

NATALIE
Something must be wrong. We have to find him. Can you get stottlemeyer?

RANDY
Got it.

Randy doesn't move. He pulls out his phone and tapping out a text message.

NATALIE
Randy! What are you doing?

RANDY
Getting stottlemeyer.

Natalie grabs his phone out of his hands. She throws it into the grass.

RANDY (CONT'D)
Hey!

NATALIE
This isn't time for an instant message.

Randy pulls another phone out of his pocket.

NATALIE (CONT'D)
Another phone?

RANDY
I'll make a call.

NATALIE
Okay. Fine. Just tell him what happened, that Mr. Monk is missing.

Randy dials, and a ringing sound can be heard a short distance away. Natalie looks confused.

RANDY
There it is!

Randy walks a short distance and picks up his phone.

NATALIE
Are you kidding me? Two phones?

RANDY
What? They were on sale. I got one for stottlemeyer too. Come to think of it, I'm probably going to regret that. He keeps texting me all the time.

NATALIE
Call!

RANDY
No. He likes to text for some reason.

NATALIE
No! Call him!

RANDY
Oh! Yeah, of course.

Randy dials the phone.

Nonjudgement

Ya I’m a positive guy I don’t
judge people I believe that each person
y’know is like unique but
dude man this guy
when he steps into the room you can
feel the breeze y’know and this
other guy like I mean what is he
thinking that shirt is so like
no way

Mr. Monk and the Rubber Room - Act I, Part 2

Over the past year, I took a TV writing course as a part of my MFA in Creative Writing through the University of British Columbia. During that course, we studied the art of writing teleplays, and during the course we produced a spec script, and an original pilot spec. A spec script is a TV writer's calling card, as it is what shows the agents and TV execs that you can actually write, and write well. A spec is a script is also based on an existing television show, and the reason for this is that if you can show that you have captured the tone and feel of a show that is not yours, then you can theoretically write for any show.

I don't believe I'll ever be a TV writer, as much as I'd like to be, because family commitments prevent me from trying to climb that ladder. But still, I found I enjoyed writing this form.

What follows is not fan fiction, I want to be clear about that, but is my own original spec script for the show Monk.

EXT. SUNNYLAND RETREAT - DAY

Natalie's car pulls up to a building at the end of a roundabout driveway. Monk, Natalie, and Mrs. Casey get out of the car. Monk looks up at the building.

MONK
Natalie, what type of place did you say this was?

NATALIE
It's uh...a...

MRS. CASEY
A retreat. It's a retreat. For rest and recovery.

MONK
Rest and recovery?

Monk looks suspicious.

MONK (CONT'D)
Natalie...

Monk spins and grabs at the car. Natalie whips out her keys, and hits the automatic lock button..

MONK (CONT'D)
Natalie. Unlock the door, please.

NATALIE
Mr. Monk. We have to help Mrs. Casey.

MONK
Now that I think of it, I have a lot to do.

Monk looks over at Mrs. Casey.

MONK (CONT'D)
I'd love to help you, it' just that I've got a lot to do right now. I have a lot on my plate.

NATALIE
No you don't!

MONK
Open the door, Natalie.

NATALIE
Mr. Monk.

MONK
Natalie.

NATALIE
No.

MONK
I'm ordering you...I can always find another assistant.

NATALIE
Fat chance, Mr. Monk.

Monk looks at Natalie's keys. The he runs toward Natalie. Natalie circles the car, maintaining her distance.

NATALIE (CONT'D)
You're not getting the keys, Mr. Monk.

MONK
Do you know what this place is?!

NATALIE
It's a retreat.

MONK
A retreat? It's a loony bin! Do you know what happened the last time I went into one of these places? Someone tried to kill me!

Mrs. Casey's looks agitated.

MRS. CASEY
Well unlike you, my son wasn't so lucky. It's not like you're going to be a patient.

Natalie looks surprised.

NATALIE
Uh...okay...

MRS. CASEY
What's wrong with you anyway? You're a grown man and you act like a child!

Monk looks surprised.

MRS. CASEY (CONT'D)
Well? Some time today?

Natalie and Monk share a confused look.

INT. SUNNYLAND FOYER - DAY

Natalie, Monk, and Mrs. Casey are seated in the foyer. Monk fidgets, looks around. Natalie puts her hand on his arm. An elevator opens. A doctor and a Japanese nurse exit. Mrs. Casey spots the doctor and jumps up.

MRS. CASEY
Doctor Randall! Over here!

Doctor Randall smiles a big, fake smile, and says something inaudible to the nurse. The nurse leaves.

DOCTOR RANDALL
Mrs. Casey! It's so good to see you. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Doctor Randall walks over. Monk and Natalie stand.

DOCTOR RANDALL (CONT'D)
Is this you family?

He holds out his hand to Monk.

DOCTOR RANDALL (CONT'D)
Hi. I'm Doctor Randall. I'm sorry for your loss.

They shake. Monk asks Natalie for a wipe.

MONK
I'm not family.

Doctor Randall looks confused.

DOCTOR RANDALL
Oh! So...

NATALIE
We're here to look into Ken's death. We just came to have a look around his room.

Doctor Randall nods his head.

DOCTOR RANDALL
I see. I wish I could help you, but it's an official crime scene, and I have strict orders from the police.

Doctor Randall shrugs.

NATALIE
Actually, we're with the police. Mr. Monk is a private investigator working with the San Francisco police department.

DOCTOR RANDALL
I'm sorry. I'd love to believe you, but...

Randy arrives.

RANDY
Hey Monk. Sorry, I got caught up with stottlemeyer. Thanks for coming.

Doctor Randall tenses up. Mrs. Casey stares at the doctor.

Monk, Natalie, and Randy move towards the elevator

MRS. CASEY
(Pleading)
Doctor Randall, can I talk you for a minute, please?

Monk, Natalie, and Randy stop and watch. Doctor Randall seems nervous.

DOCTOR RANDALL
I'm sorry. I'm really busy right now. I...

MRS. CASEY
It'll just be for a minute. I just...I need your help...if you could just help me...

Doctor Randall backs away, and moves towards the others.

DOCTOR RANDALL
Like I said. I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do.

Monk and Natalie look at Randy, who shrugs his shoulders.

There is a loud commotion at the entrance of the foyer. There are several elderly women, agitated and angry.

OLD WOMAN #1
Hey! Who's the idiot who blocked the driveway?

OLD WOMAN #2
Move it so we can get our bus through!

Natalie gasps.

NATALIE
Oh my god. That's my car. I'll meet you up there Mr. Monk. I just have to move the car.

Natalie is embarrassed. She leaves. Randy pulls out his cell phone and reads a text message.

RANDY
Sorry. I gotta go. Stottlemeyer needs to see me again. I'll catch you when I come back, Monk.

Randy shakes his head.

RANDY (CONT'D)
If you want some advice. Don't ever get stottlemeyer a Blackberry for a birthday gift. He'll take over your life.

Randy walks off. As he goes, Mrs. Casey walks over to Doctor Randall and Monk.

DOCTOR RANDALL
I'm sorry, but I can't let you come up with us.

Doctor Randall away. Mrs. Casey looks devastated. The Doctor and Monk walk to the elevator. As the doors close, Doctor Randall smiles his big fake smile at Monk, who pretend smiles back.

INT. SUNNYLAND INPATIENT WING - DAY
Monk is looking around Ken's room.

DOCTOR RANDALL
The other officer said it looked like an open and shut case. A clear case of suicide.

MONK
Mm..hmm..

Monk bends down, looks at the carpet. There is a tape outline of the body.

DOCTOR RANDALL
My staff have all given statements, which support the suicide finding. Ken was just more disturbed than we thought.

Monk nods, keeps looking around the room.

DOCTOR RANDALL (CONT'D)
He saved up his medication and overdosed on it.

Monk looks over at Doctor Randall.

MONK
And how do they know that?

DOCTOR RANDALL
It was written in the suicide note. As I said, Ken was a very disturbed person. Very anti-social, with violent tendencies.

Monk looks skeptical.

DOCTOR RANDALL (CONT'D)
Though mostly of the self-inflicted kind. I felt sorry for him, but there was nothing to be done. He was committed indefinitely...
(Beat)

DOCTOR RANDALL (CONT'D)
So this was probably his only way out. A real tragedy.

Monk nods.

MONK
Yeah. It was probably a suicide.

Monk starts to leave, but then stops.

MONK (CONT'D)
Did you say he was committed indefinitely? And that he was violent?

Doctor Randall nods.

MONK (CONT'D)
Well, his mother claims Ken was peaceful, she said it was all a mistake. That he was coming home its weekend.

Doctor Randall shakes his head ruefully and responds.

DOCTOR RANDALL
Mothers often only see good in their children. And patients like Ken often invent positive scenarios for themselves, to help them get through the day.

The Japanese nurse from the foyer arrives, shares a look with the doctor. Monk doesn't see her. He Stands by the dresser, and bends down.

MONK
There's dirt here.

DOCTOR RANDALL
I doubt that. Rooms are cleaned daily.
Doctor Randall looks grim, no longer smiling.

MONK
Which means this dresser was moved.

Monk crouches down.

MONK (CONT'D)
There's something here.

Monk pushes tilts the dresser, and pulls out a piece of paper. He looks at the paper, and reads for a moment. Then his head snaps up in realization.

MONK (CONT'D)
It was murder.

As Monk starts to stand, he is hit on the head with a heavy object, and falls, unconscious, to the floor.

The Conscious Imperative

I didn’t dream of rain but in the rain I
dreamed of her through the maelstrom
lights flashing an intersection of
rhythm conscious release movement all
together each a primal dream realized
touching that ethereal essence so
vital yet impossible to retain an
ecstasy of a moment made pure
when her eyes locked upon mine
telling me to come her way

Mr. Monk and the Rubber Room - Act I, Part 1

Over the past year, I took a TV writing course as a part of my MFA in Creative Writing through the University of British Columbia. During that course, we studied the art of writing teleplays, and during the course we produced a spec script, and an original pilot spec. A spec script is a TV writer's calling card, as it is what shows the agents and TV execs that you can actually write, and write well. A spec is a script is also based on an existing television show, and the reason for this is that if you can show that you have captured the tone and feel of a show that is not yours, then you can theoretically write for any show.

I don't believe I'll ever be a TV writer, as much as I'd like to be, because family commitments prevent me from trying to climb that ladder. But still, I found I enjoyed writing this form.

What follows is not fan fiction, I want to be clear about that, but is my own original spec script for the show Monk.

ACT ONE

INT. DOCTOR BELL'S OFFICE - DAY

MONK is hunched over in his chair, holding his head in his hands. DOCTOR BELL is leaning back, listening intently.

MONK
It doesn't matter. Nothing matters.
Doctor Bell leans forward, patiently, and starts talking.

DOCTOR BELL
What doesn't matter?

MONK
Nothing. It's no use.
Monk is rocking back and forth slightly. He puts his hands on his knees, and is leaning forward, looking at his feet.

DOCTOR BELL
I...I got that. I meant what do you mean by "it"?

MONK
Everything.

DOCTOR BELL
Everything? You said nothing?

MONK
Everything is nothing.

DOCTOR BELL
Everything?

MONK
Nothing.

DOCTOR BELL
I see.

Doctor Bell leans back in his chair, and sighs.

Monk leans back in his chair, and sighs.

MONK
Today is the day...Trudy...

DOCTOR BELL
Ah...the anniversary of her passing.

MONK
Dying. She didn't pass, she died. Passing is having all your friends around you as you say goodbye and breathe out one last time.

DOCTOR BELL
It happened, what, fifteen years ago? That's a long time.

MONK
Fifteen years is a long time. It's a long time to come to here every week, it's a long time to be alone, it's a long time to not... have found the man behind my wife's murder.

DOCTOR BELL
But you found her killer. Wasn't that the man with six fingers?

MONK
Yes. No. I mean, the man behind the man behind my wife's murder.

Monk looks up in despair.

DOCTOR BELL
Adrian, I want you to look at it a different way. In your time as a detective you've made a difference in the lives of many people, and in the short time I've known you, you've made great progress. And while you will always mourn Trudy, what you've accomplished is something to celebrate.

Monk shakes his head and sighs.

MONK
I don't know.

INT. MONK'S APARTMENT - DAY

Monk has a picture of Trudy on the kitchen table. He is staring at it, unblinking.
NATALIE is moving around the living room, packing small items into a box.

NATALIE
Mr. Monk? I have an idea.

Monk looks up, curious.

MONK
Natalie? What are you doing?

NATALIE
Nothing. Just tidying up a little.

Monk leaves the kitchen. He looks at the box Natalie is holding. He looks around the room. Then he looks at Natalie, suspicious.

MONK
Natalie? What's in the box?

Natalie doesn't move. Monk lunges at the box.

MONK (CONT'D)
Natalie! What are you doing?!

Natalie twists away from Monk. He can't reach the box.

NATALIE
It's for your own good, Mr. Monk. If you keep staring at things that remind you of Trudy all day, you'll never get over her.

Monk gets his hand on the box. They struggle over it.

MONK
Maybe I don't want to get over her!

NATALIE
Yes you do. You need to move on!

MONK
I'm fine where I am! Give them back!

NATALIE
No!

There is a knock at the door. The door opens. RANDY steps in, followed by a woman.

RANDY
Hello? Monk?

Natalie and Monk continue bickering.

MONK
Give it back! Give...it...back!

NATALIE
No!...It's for your own good.

Monk looks at Randy. Natalie looks also.

RANDY
Everything okay in here?

Monk yanks the box out of Natalie's hands. Monk and Natalie reply at the same time.

MONK
Yes!

NATALIE
No!

Randy looks confused.

RANDY
Ohh...kay...Sorry to interrupt, but I, my friend, sorry, needs help. I mean, your help! If that's okay.

MRS. CASEY raises a hand in greeting.

MRS. CASEY
Hi.

Natalie shows them in. Mrs. Casey sits on the couch. Randy stands.

RANDY
Were, um, we're kind of next door neighbors. Well, we are next door neighbors, actually, but I'm usually busy, and we have different schedules, so we don't really get, you know, a chance to...

NATALIE
We get the picture. Why don't you come in and tell us what happened.

Mrs. Casey is crying. Natalie passes hear a tissue. Monk is preoccupied with the box.

RANDY
Well, I don't know, exactly. I'll let Mrs. Casey tell you.

Monk puts the box on a table. He takes out items one by one, looks around the room, and puts them back.

MRS. CASEY
It's about my son, Ken. They're saying it was suicide, but I don't believe it.

NATALIE
I'm so sorry. What happened?

MRS. CASEY
He's always been a watcher, you know? So observant. He'd sit there and watch people, and just keep watching them. Just by watching he could tell you so much about someone. It was a gift.

Monk looks over at Mrs. Casey.

MONK
And a curse.

MRS. CASEY
Pardon?

MONK
It's a gift...And a curse.

Monk goes back to putting the items where they belong.

NATALIE
Sorry. He can be like that sometimes. What else happened?

Mrs. Casey gestures for another tissue. Natalie hands her the whole box.

MRS. CASEY
It's my fault! He was a watcher, you know. Trouble talking to others. I didn't want my Ken to be alone for the rest of his life. He's so sweet but just too shy. So I got him some help.

NATALIE
What kind of help?

MRS. CASEY
I sent him to this place. Sunnyland. There was a Doctor there who said he could help us. And I believed him.

Natalie waves at Monk. He doesn't seem to notice.

MRS. CASEY (CONT'D)
They said Doctor Randall worked miracles. Everyone I knew swore by him. And I believed him too. They all have relatives at Sunnyland, and it's really is a nice place.

Natalie clears her throat at Monk. He doesn't seem to hear her.

NATALIE
Mr. Monk?

Monk does not look over. He keeps arranging the items.

MONK
Sunnyland. Sounds nice. Sunny place. Sounds warm.

Natalie scowls.

NATALIE
Mr. Monk!

RANDY
Well, actually, it is kind of warm. I was just down there, and they have a good interior decorator.

Natalie glares at Randy, looks back at Mrs. Casey.

NATALIE
So how did your son die?

MRS. CASEY
That's the thing. They said he overdosed on medication. But he wasn't taking any medication. And he was supposed to be coming home today.

NATALIE
But why do you think he was murdered?

MRS. CASEY
Because he knew something.

NATALIE
What did he know?

MRS. CASEY
He...I can't say. I guess maybe that's why I need your help.

NATALIE
What do you think, Mr. Monk?

Monk looks at a small ledge, and at a picture frame in his hand.

MONK
Cleaned.

NATALIE
He was killed, not cleaned.

MONK
Most people know where to put things because there's a ring of dust where the things are supposed to go. Who ever thought that being clean would be such a problem?

Natalie sighs.

NATALIE
We're talking about Mrs. Casey's son, Ken.

MONK
But I don't have any dust! So how do I know where things are supposed to go? And she's lying, or not telling us something.

Mrs. Casey looks shocked, then angry.

MRS. CASEY
Why would I?

MONK
Because you did it, or you think you're responsible. Either way, you're feeling guilty about something. Where does this go?

NATALIE
Mr. Monk, that picture was right there. Just put it down. What do you mean?

MONK
Where? Here?

Monk holds the picture an inch above the ledge.

MONK (CONT'D)
Or here?

Monk moves the frame an inch.

MONK (CONT'D)
How am I supposed to know where it goes? Most people tell their suspicions right away.

Monk moves his head from side to side. He scans the ledge closely.

MONK (CONT'D)
She didn't.

Monk puts the picture down, shifts it and shifts it back. Natalie grabs her purse; pulls out an eyeliner pencil.

NATALIE
You know what? I have an idea.

Natalie walks over to the ledge, and writes a small "x". She grabs the picture from Monk and puts it on the "x".

NATALIE (CONT'D)
See! Problem solved.

Monk stares at Natalie in disbelief.

MONK
You don't know if that's the right spot!

Monk tries to move the picture frame. Natalie brushes his hand away.

NATALIE
Ah, ah! Haven't you ever heard, Mr. Monk? X marks the spot!

MONK
But how do you know that's the right spot?

NATALIE
Because there's an "x" on it!

Natalie holds up her hands.

NATALIE (CONT'D)
See! Problem solved. Now why don't we let Mrs. Casey finish telling us her story?

Mrs. Casey looks angry. Randy looks uncomfortable. Randy pulls out a phone. He reads a message.

RANDY
Sorry, I got to go. Stottlemeyer wants me to meet up with him right away. Can you take her? I'll meet you there later.

Conversing

Man check that chick out, gawddamn
lookit that sweet ass
Didja see the Wings?
smacked the Canes like little bitches...
Dude! Drop by on Sunday I need help
with the transmission.

Friggin work, eh?
Management’s still a buncha sumbitches.

This conversation,
this company,
once seemed so utterly mundane
banal, even.

Good to see you Jim I was thinking
let’s put our heads together and really
try to facilitate this process
our cost benefit analysis
projects only a slight decrease in productivity
but a more than modest cost savings realization
through a rationalization
of our human resources
in our subsidiary sectors.

A little downsizing
or outsourcing
never hurts anyone, you know.

Now it just seems...

Human.